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Girl with a storm in her eye

Left.

To see the girl with a
storm in her eye, on
the edge of a cyclonic spiral
which descends on us like
Neptune’s monstrous finger
scooping depths of the ocean
dug and spattered across the land
a whole world held dumb in the calming core
a multitude of weathered men
sheltering beneath the telly
while the torrent lashes outside their door
while a spinning calamity surrounds them

Right.

Now I retreat to her eye however
from the edge of its lucid shore where
another storm beckons looking
somewhat like a tempestuous sty
I hoped to dive into her eye
deep below the frantic world
and swim in her emerald vision
of a better world,
her heart a raging storm
her mind seeking a moral harbor
graced with tolerance
and rewarded with pearls deeper
than you can imagine
to dive into that storm
the spiralling star
thinking of Jupiter
its dimple of maelstrom
spinning into the vacuity of space
which rarely listens.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
One for Miranda and Prospero. Thinking about storms, tempests, great exhibition down here at the moment: http://www.tmag.tas.gov.au/whats_on/newsselect/2016articles/tempest_transforms_tmag Lots to inspire..
Editing stage: 

Comments

Quite a description of the eyes of a girl.

Well, I wish good luck with your exploration.

I view that after the description of the left and right eyes, a verse of inference to highlight your experience will make the poem more concluding.

xxxxx

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