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A GAZE TO THE UNSEEN

Once upon a time
Letting all align
Getting through a line
Pulling hard the twine

Every thought on mind
Gazing through the hind
All along like blind
Only get behind

To be seen ahead
Blindly set forget
Getting rid to set
Never met at then

Peeping through the side
Looking all of kind
Slowly walk remind
At last set aside

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

ask yourself why this poem has received no feedback for 1 month 2 weeks.

I can offer two reasons. On your profile you don't talk about yourself, you self-aggrandise. Write your profile about yourself, not like a self-promoting CV.

Most importantly you have given no feedback to anyone else. This is a community where we help each other. You need to give to receive.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Thanks a bunch...Will apply...

OLANIYI BELOVED ABIMBOLA
belovedabim

author comment

especially writing your profile in the third person is inappropriate. Here we a colleagues, peers and friends, sometimes even family, not self-promoters.

The poem has depths I can't fathom at first reading. It is well crafted. I will come back to it. ok?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

"He is persistent and uncompromising in his pursuit for spreading wide morals, values and the beauty of nature."
Yes, kindness is the highest moral value.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

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