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gave it all away

Submitted by Victorclaude on Thu, 2010-11-25 06:38

people are odd
some give -- some take

perhaps more takers
than givers

a
debatable question?

givers are banks
always open

currency -- love
and care

those who make
withdrawals -- coming and going

don't often
make deposits

leave behind
in their wakes

destitution of
emptiness unwanted

ran out of currency
gave it all away

bank closed.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Inspired by something my dear friend Kelly Marie once said.
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

Kailashana2

Thu, 2010-11-25 07:16

if it should rain
currency of the heart
how much should I
keep
and what would I
give away,
perhaps save it for a
rainy day?

~A

Victorclaude

Thu, 2010-11-25 15:55

Victorclaude's picture

Anna,

Good question, and many ways to answer. I would hold some in abeyance just for you to make some more.

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

author comment

scribbler

Thu, 2010-11-25 07:48

Volunteer badge

This is a very good example of form reinforcing words. This amateur spots no errors..........scribbler

loved

Thu, 2010-11-25 11:08

loved's picture

During the course of my life’s sojourn,
I have had the fortune
To serve upon many a rich guy
And still poor,
As they want all to them give more

My dear,
They were so often goaded by me,
Give for Lords sake
Heaven has given enough to thee.
They passed away
In the doldrums of time,
None looked at them,
When they were
By time defined,
As immortal takers
Ere they left a trail
Of sadness far behind

That’s when I learnt
A lesson or two,
Takers are a plenty,
Givers a minuscule few

loved

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