Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Gadzooks!

For some it takes
The barista getting their coffee wrong
For some it takes the flu
For some it would take nukes

To get them to finally say
Gadzooks

For some it takes
A fly’s little insistent buzz
For some it takes traffic
For some it would take a flood

To get them to say
Holy Mother of God

We all have a different
Threshold of pain

But the world is certainly
A complainer’s
refrain

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Well Said gregwa and a great title

to give it to you for a title! Not sure about that many " For some" but, it does work. It reads well, but a little awkwardly with the line about "fly's little insistent buzz" but other than that... ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.