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Full Time Employment

Cool wind blows over frozen ground
across a cemetary plot on the outskirts of town.
Tombstones pose in their stone carved silence
while flowers lay dead in twisted plastic violence.

A moon casted light--creates ghoulish shadows,
death hangs around like a rope on the gallows.
Humped up dirt from the bowels of the earth,
covers the deceased who'd been dying since birth.

I'm ghost in the night carrying tools in my hands,
the dead beware cause I'm the grave robber man.
Armed with a crowbar, my shovel, and pick,
no need for drugs...I get a formaldehyde kick!

Down through the soil, I dig deeper and deeper
until reaching the work of the dark Grim Reaper.
Raising up the lid, I unzip the body bladder,
the makeup on the corpse is frosted melted matter.

Out comes a heart...then a kidney and liver,
it's plopped into a cooler that later I deliver.
There's a door in the rear, I ring the bell,
it slowly squeaks open and I make the sale.

There aren't any layoffs, there's no overtime,
Uncle Sam gets nothing, the cash is all mine.
I'm a ghost in the night with tools in my hands,
the dead beware---I'm the grave robber man.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Don't over think this...you know nothing about me. Remember, I write under the pen of Raven Maelstrom for a reason. hahahahahahahahahaha
Editing stage: 

Comments

First welcome to Neo. Hope you'd enjoy your stay in Neo.

I thought this piece is really a nightmare. It drew a very horrible picture in my mind. Well, I think there are people who do this at the daytime. At least you do it in the dark. (((smiles)))

I liked the rhyme and the rhythm and can't think at the moment of any thing to improve though you'll find that this place is all about improving and growing with your poetry.

I read your profile too and was amazed of what you wrote there. I become really excited to know more about your experience.. Looks like some real adventures are waiting us.
Keep them coming.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

First and foremost, thanks for the welcome and the expressed hope of enjoyment because acceptance is relative to growth and hope is a sustainable commodity which should give rise to the endeavor to "continue on" no matter the obstacles faced. Improving is my ultimate goal as I strive to delve into a wide variety of diverse subject matters. As atrocious as it may sound, I'm elated this piece "drew a very horrible picture in your mind" because each artist much utilize their medium to its maximum potential if they are to touch an audience. Since the only other thing I can draw is water from a faucet, it tickles me that my words can become an illustration upon the world's greatest medium...the mind.

Ravenism: "An enemy cherishes the "sneak attack" and therefore, we do not always see ourselves as we approach."

author comment

ooohhhh!!! this is the side I
am comfortable with
the dark, twisted necessary
actions that lead people thru
many corridors filled with
endless rooms containing ...

More poems of this nature!!
great read!!

Alone we shall find our ways into worlds of never imagined discoveries

Lovely PreciouslySet (makes me think of Lord of the Rings)...

The most thrilling, frightening, intriguing and confusing corridors anyone can wander is the corridors of the human mind....ours---and others. Writing with expression is about making an impression worthy of notability. If all was light, there wouldn't be appreciation because no contrast (dark) exists. Same with the straight path or line. What importance does it have without twists to compare it against. We write not only to express or impress, but to expel what we have so preciously hoarded. For myself, it's not about reaching the "status quo" of recognition because in my convulted mind, "that's simply just the name of the mess we're in." In my case, I'm purging my shell so I can refill it with the freshness of now.

I glowed at your comments and look forward to our future together in Neo.

Ravenism: "Boundaries should be made binding, but the binding should not result in becoming commonly bound."

author comment

Truer words were never spoken ..
The human mind is a self~sustaining
home grown do-it-urself Universe!
The book that's currently on my bedside table?
A Nicholls College psychology class book, the name?

Abnormal Psychology In A Changing World

I deeply enjoy learning more about the mechanics of
well, a lot of things like What happens in my brain that
gives it the power to deny what "real" reality is banging down
my door about, then create memories which consist of things I don't really know what really happened n what didn't
Without the aide of drug or alcohol induced episodes ..

I battle with Reality daily ..
I don't give up ..

I always wanted to be able to draw, like reeaally draw ..
but no .... I cant .. but I can bring u through a specific point
or poem where if u close ur eyes ur living it .. I like to draw visions
of intruding unnerving chaotic Truth
my truth

Alone we shall find our ways into worlds of never imagined discoveries

I never really consciously thought about horror having rhythm. They may sound strange but then I am. Thanks. I'm real excited about the recovery of my works from neopoet's 2010 failure and look forward to really throwing a mix out. I obviously need lots of workshop help and my mentoring guide better be sharper than a seeing eye dog to sniff out any worthwhile works from me...but I say, "hey, let's have fun." I firmly believe emotions are the greatest drugs on earth and I fully intend on using them recreationally. Thanks again.

author comment

Grave robbing was a good business here a long while ago, as the medical profession was investigating how the body worked and where all the bits were, not only that these two went one better they killed to supply the medical people with bodies.
The Burke and Hare murders (also known as the West Port murders) were a series of murders committed in Edinburgh, Scotland over a period of about ten months in 1828. The killings were attributed to Irish immigrants William Burke and William Hare, who sold the corpses of their 16 victims to Doctor Robert Knox as dissection material for his well-attended anatomy lectures. Burke and Hare's accomplices were Burke's mistress, Helen McDougal, and Hare's wife, Margaret Laird. From their method of killing their victims came the word "burking", meaning to smother and compress the chest of a murder victim, and a derived meaning, to suppress something quietly.
It is frowned on now what with the new machines that can see everything LOL, Good write though, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Great background and highly appreciated. I've read many of your works as well as your bio...and in the back of my pate, I wondered if it might strike a chord with you. Unfortunately, with the raging infection of drug addiction, there have been a number of isolated incidents of this kind of robbery in the U.S. which is where the inspiration for this piece came upon me. Thanks and look forward to improving by having access to life long dedicated poets such as yourself.

author comment

Yes I knew where you were on about, some of those people will do anything for their fix, worse I've had is a rum and coke so not on my menu lol You take care and thanks for your reply, I will keep reading,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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