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foreheads

give it for the kiss of a rose,
does it stain the lips of red-
early-birds basks in open sunshine,
people and places, spaces waited to be filled
and a man of which flax retiree's adjourn;
the basic journey is doomed by yesterday:
the biggest jackpot is cut trees.Garnerer

the paths of its river cross croissants
under water that has no shape, from a park
there a birds on its strings, hewn
in this way from that, the undoing is,
apes obey, gorillas obey, man obeys;
when he meets upon the plains of his reflection
belly on the earth of scaly chitin, citizens
in-which was the allei of his shadows,
clusters hold lamps of the sand and fog

materiel's of gable gruff; if it was
a mother carrying a child:how pathetic
as the corpses lie underachieved,
in the path of greatness, to just live,
other than that, "men do cry" i pardon
gladdons and their bunch in fade-away ,
fanned of farmlands, on the foreheads written
jellygums and marmalade of fidgets,
wake each one, next from oblivion
and in their old suitcases, from where they travel
the next person, grips also, the next person.

poignant from the place of their losses
this next person was two thousand years old,
griping, mean they become in the same time frame,
vacate all the necessary two for ones
jungle voices in the toads croak backlash
honorables, or with bare feet thread,
for binoculars , visions visit ambrosia,
tell of car cartel; they neither move,
still they march without ignoring the truthful
jar of hearts which are relieved of tense,
leverage to plough his fields dictation of gardens
star flecked,. star trekked, no one but you.

a forever living becomes trapped, beckoning abysmal
for the bellows of a lovely vegetarian pigmentation,
pushed open from the locked hinge, brow and heels
froth of ajar, nowhere in proximity,
doth spaniels breathe a justice of hope?
hope will not serve laceration contempt,
it chooses Ecstasy of a man, without clothes
red tailed buggered ants, like still traffic
no movements then backlights- an egg,
had further being not conceived maracas
rattlesnakes and the choirs orchestra
as if it was becoming a child to grow,
as the chameleon; red of red, blue of blue, green of greens

Editing stage: 

Comments

I'm sorry but when I see a poem this long I tend to pass it by . I began to read it but got weary and dismayed by it's length

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i admit i was put off at crossing croissants - what does this mean? if you have access to a grammar check you need to use it. i help a lot of young people from other lands (i am in usa) with grammar, but this is way too long and truthfully, i do not have the time. much of it does not seem to make logical sense to me. you need to think about what is and is not logical.for instance the corpse lies underachieved. i am sure you mean the person died before being able to reach full potential, but the grammar is wrong. i get how hard english grammar is for africans - i think you are african. that is why you should try to write someplace with a grammar check and then copy and paste it, if you are now using something without a grammar check. stop using the word "doth" shakespeare died lol. with all i have said, the meaning i believe behind your poem is touching. if you could get the grammar right and better logic, you could have a poem that would move people. "rome was not built in a day". some poets take months, even up to a year, to write a winner. these are who get published. and who we want to be as good as. it takes a lot of time and work. read as many good poems (not face book poems poems in old books) in english as you can - the more you see correct english grammar the more it will sink into your mind. best of luck cathy. ps think about taking what you think best from this and make it much shorter. i love the line about the spaniel and hope. perhaps a spaniel whose master beats it "hopes" it will stop but as we do not know, we will assume it does not. so that is a great line.

he is confused and comparing train of thought to poetry! Although, even if it were train of thought, it would be the cars all mixed up and nobody knowing where they were supposed to be. There are some fantastic lines here. I just wish some of the logic followed! Sorry. ~ Geezer.
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