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Fly High White Eagleman

Submitted by trekker on Thu, 2018-04-12 11:34

He was a bird man,
wearing airborne freedom,
flying open skies,
hearing spirit cries.

Father told him,
listen to the wind.
Pay attention
to the season,

four different kinds.
Look for signs
don't listen to the "raven"
for he mimics "man".

Listen to the wind,
let it take you in,
take flight "White Eagleman",
soar like you can.

Over the landscape of being,
canyons never seen,
over frustration mountains,
and good day fountains.

Reach for the heights
set lofty sights,
be a truth seeker
humble to the weaker.

Avoid life's jetstream
and society's extremes,
fly over the storm
listen, and be forewarned.
Listen to the wind, and
fly high "White Eagleman".

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

"White Eagleman" is the "spirit name" of a Plains Cree Indian, here in Edmonton. His picture I painted will be posted on Facebook and Instagram this afternoon. #Tag is trekkerdekker.

Editing stage:

Editing - draft

Comments

Geezer

Thu, 2018-04-12 14:48

I think your title...

Could do without the [Fly High], but it is alright with it. I enjoyed the rhyme and near rhyme and thought the story good. It seemed that there was a continuous flow from beginning to end. Being part Native American; [Mohawk and Seneca], I always appreciated a well told N.A. tale. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.

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trekker

Thu, 2018-04-12 15:03