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Fireflies Are The Stars

Submitted by gregwa8 on Wed, 2018-06-20 01:35

Fireflies are the stars
Of the troposphere

And although they appear
And disappear

They are fixed
In our hearts

Provide the same
Glimmer of hope

Something that we can
Wish upon
On summer nights

We use them to navigate
In our own way

Sail or fly
To destinations
Near and far

In our dreams
After the day is done

These flickering candles
These warm bugs
In our backyards

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

IRiz

Fri, 2018-06-29 14:24

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Where is a troposphere?
I like Warm bugs, but not sure if you can call fireflies in one poem stars and candles.
I wish I could change their name from flies to fliers.

IRiz

gregwa8

Sun, 2018-07-01 02:52

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"fire fliers" would be right on :). the troposphere is the lowest level of atmosphere. i thought of how stars are so far away, in a distant "atmosphere", but fireflies are in an "earthly sky", so to speak. they are the "close stars." though of course they're not stars at all. thanks for the read and comments.
greg

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IRiz

Sun, 2018-07-01 08:26

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Sweet thank you for explaining.

IRiz

lovedly

Fri, 2018-06-29 14:35

lovedly's picture

fireflies in the black forest
and bugs inside your car
you gave her a lift
she returned a gift

nice poetry tis it

gregwa8

Sun, 2018-07-01 02:53

gregwa8's picture

thank you!
greg

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