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Fields of Honeydew

Belladonna waited by the fields of honeydew
the shade of early evening a softly darkened blue
her mind rested easy in the sweet and pleasant hue

down by the fields of honeydew

(Chorus)
Honeydew, honeydew
you are sweet and juicy, too
but I'm into Belladonna more than you!

she waited for her lover who was riding with the moon
a hundred years had passed from her busy afternoon
a band of gypsy wagons huddled 'round a fiddle tune

down by the fields of honeydew

(Chorus)

he was riding in the middle of the red and setting sun
she was wide-eyed excited, she was nearly come undone
all the gypsy folks were dancing just to make a little fun

down by the fields of honeydew

(Chorus)

the horse and he arose as the sun was dipping low
in the sky, she was flying as the wind began to blow
the gypsies who were dancing in the night would never know

down by the fields of honeydew

(Chorus)

they had found one another on the starry milky way
now they ride through the heavens to a secret hideaway
while gypsy folks are sleeping from the labours of the day

down by the fields of honeydew

all is quiet in fields of honeydew

>Thomas<

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Just a light-hearted ditty while taking a break from my current endeavour. Let me know what you think!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Nice of you to read and comment. I'm glad you liked it!

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

wondering if the lady's name being Belladonna has some meaning to it? Belladonna being a medicinal or poisonous plant, [depending on how it's used]. ~ Geez.
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It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

You are very observant. Belladonna is also a hallucinogen. You can interpret the words as they suit you. Have you any critique for me on my up-tempo ditty?
Thanks for reading and commenting.

Thomas

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.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

leave off the last two lines, I don't think they add anything to it, it's almost as though you had half a mind to keep going and just couldn't find the words. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I will lose the last line for now. Thanks for that.

Thomas

.
.

...so like my lost dreams...the flood

author comment

I didn't mean the last two. Just the one. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

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