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Father

Who worked day and night for me,
Who worked restlessly for me,
Who had so many favor on me,
Thinking of that favors I started crying my dad,
Everything I am it's because of you dad,
Everything I am it's because of you dad...

I have got high status even though I can't return your favors that you have done for me,
I always pray to god that they give half of my life to you,
You used to take my every single pain and you tried to hide your pain inside you dad,
Everything I am it's because of you dad,
Everything I am it's because of you dad...

I may have so many uncles and aunt,
But no one is like you dad,
Now your Schrey is 18 dad, don't worry tell me what do you want,
I brought your favourite black range rover dad,
Everything I am it's because of you dad,
Everything I am it's because of you dad...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Well it's quite long I haven't hugged my dad.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the emotion that you bring to this piece of work. Realizing that the man that gave you life and set your place in the world, because he loved you; is the sign of being the man that I think he would have wanted you to be. Understand, that it is now your place in the world to provide for your children in a manner that would make him proud. And it's not just about money and prestige. It is also the ability to recognize the love it takes. Your title could be a little bit better. Think of an attribute that personifies your father, what did you love most about him?
Nice. ~ Geezer.
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Thanks

Schrey
Life is so small so do something special.

author comment

rhymes like a heartwarming song. nothing like the memories of a dad.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Thank you so much

Schrey
Life is so small so do something special.

author comment

Who worked day and night for me,
Who worked restlessly for me,
Who had so many favor on me,

three times to me >>>>
would indicate paucity of thesaurus

secondly
I see you don't thank anyone
for the time taken
Poets must value other's time equally
shrey

Thank you so much. To be honest with you I wouldn't look at comments because I barely online on this application. This is because of my exam otherwise I won't abide anyone.

Schrey
Life is so small so do something special.

author comment

well I won't read u anymore why waste ur exam time ur already too good

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