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Facing the Grave

Sliding down the pole,
Scraping burned skin on the ground.
Descending past the gaping hole.
Screaming lungs pop with no sound.
Passing the time, it slips away.
Veins bursting, the poison spreads.
Tired tongues with little to say,
Broken glass with rocks make my bed.
My mother, the worm.
My father, the fire.
My home, the pit.
My light, the darkness.
Tumbling away like a stone.

Caressing my lips on the flame,
It dances before me like a-
whore with no shame.
Empty as aborted wombs,
Untouchable as lepers-
Dark as a tomb.
I have not, I taste not, I see not, I feel not, for I am not.
Blurred remnants of better days,
Memories all but ashes now.
Grotesque misgivings of another empty phase.
Contemplating, reasoning, cognitively wondering why?
Forgotten, thrown away like trash.
Ripped from the wall like an old picture.

The beast awakens,
Shining bright like a Morningstar.
Glistening like a bloodied sword.
Consuming what’s left, controlling the rest.
Burning, kindling with vengeance.
Lit by the hope of killing the best.
I am born, I will rise, I will win, I will settle the score.
Life is nothing but machines,
Well oiled systems set to run.
Covered, stained, not at all clean.
Hidden, not at all seen.
Elixirs of toxic emotion breed within,
Saddened, darkened, consciousness begins to spin.
Eternity, they say will never end.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Explicit Content


I felt the title had everything to do with every word, I lost my mum when I was quite young she didn't get to see my family. I guess a part of me will always feel angry about that.

Again your pace made me read fast. I think you could consider writing songs? Is it something you have ever done. Your writing is wonderful so too are your last lines.

Thank you...Teddy

Thanks Teddy,

I have written a few songs even though I don't play any instruments. Every once and a while I get a line stuck in my head and it usually belongs in a song or a poem. Strange... I know.


Daniel Robichaud

author comment

You see, you obviously have a talent for song writing, it's shines in your work, no wonder your dear dad kept on at you to get on here. Now you have you can show all your work! Be proud my friend.

Thank you...Teddy

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