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Face Time... March Contest

My heart still skips a beat
whenever our lips meet
No other thrill so sweet
Like some exotic treat

Your face to mine and mine to yours
I always feel the thrill
My heart still skips a beat, my love
I think it always will

So kiss me hard, kiss me long
Kisssss me time again
I love when our lips are meeting
It doesn't matter when

I taste your soul, I love you more
I'll always want your kiss
No matter what the time is, love
I'll never want to miss

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

"do meet" you use this twice and both times they do sound forced. In line @ you could say something like "whenever your and my lips meet" to take care of it.In stanza 3 line 3 something like"every time that our lips meet". All that aside I like this examination of kissing lol. Now to go find Susan and practice what you preach ....................................stan

of your suggestions! Thanks for the crit. I try to "practice" every day; I know they say practice makes perfect, but I still think I can get better. ~ Gee.
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author comment

It has all the best quality of lyrics and would be great with music. Give it to tony Bennett!
As a poem it suffers the same things as most good lyric. It’s obvious, catchy, sentimental, and about romantic love. What are 95% of love songs about? This is a great song.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

for love poems or songs, but I do love kissing my wife. Is Tony Bennet still alive? I thought he died a few years back. Thanks for the comment. ~ Geezer.
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Critique or comment today!

author comment

At 92 still singing and painting pictures.
I agree with Paul McCartney : “ silly love songs/what’s wrong with that/I’d like to know... “ I think from the wings album

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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