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Expressions

How do I feel today?
Do I feel at all?
What's the point off feeling anything,
anyway?

So I can be sad like you?
Be mad like you?
So I can be fed-up like you?
So I can be everything you are?
So I can be you?

A rock came through my window today.
It was painted with the word hope,
shattering like the window it christened,
leaving me in the corner, a shivering toddler,
leaving me with an empty hand and a
broken mirror. My window piecing
below my feet, piercing each step
with the vision of broken eyes
a bloody path to my front door
which is locked from the outside.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

If this is fiction or real I do sympathize.
This is well written indeed.
No suggestions. The last stanza could stand by itself.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Thank you for the kind words

Scott

author comment

Like the metaphor throughout, if I understand the rock's thing right. Otherwise I think i misread it.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

How did you read it?

Scott

author comment

a representative of a heavy burden or so that caused you such a pain. Otherwis, it must have be used literary, as a rock.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

It's figurative, how supposedly indestructible, yet shattering like glass

Scott

author comment

I do not understand why that last line is so powerful. It lifts the whole poem to the sublime. Nothing so mundane as a "locked room" murder mystery, although that can't be ignored, especially with the hopeful rock threat.

This is a poem that defies my analysis but I love it.

cheers,
Jess
New Workshop!-
Critique For New And Old
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/critique-new-and-old

Mighty fine compliment, sir. Thank you

Scott

author comment
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