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Et to Sam?

Flags half-massed fly
While they lie at your feet,
Sixty wounds from serpant tongues,
The senators deciet.
Subliminaly, brought to believe,
That this is for the better,
It'll save the weak.
But nothing changes, the lamen's still the lamen,
The sufferer suffers on while the kings are granted caviar.
The chain goes on, the messiah speaks,
Tell us what is real and how we should think,
The weak are given God, so the rich can write the law
Then they cry HEATHEN to take claim of the earth.
Another day, another crusade, will we ever see?
Will it ever change?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
a political piece to add to the millions already in existance. Would you forgive the clitche? Tell me what you thing. Don't be afraid to sound mean. I'm still getting used to this sight and I don't want that fact to hender honesty and oppinions. Thank you for reading!
Editing stage: 

Comments

This just needs a tidy to me it appears scruffy but the theme is good and as Beau says in her comment (Which has two Clichés in) that the odd cliché is OK but there again it is a thing that will make you well known if later some of your original lines are thought to be Clichés, that would make you well known.
Maybe we should have a workshop on that or a fun Blog, Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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