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Ending It Gracefully


Homeless, friendless;
No place in the cold dark city
To lay her poor old head
Except the cold, cold gutter.
No mother to care for her;
Not a soul to give her succour.

Her life has been a catastrophe,
A series of disasters.
From birth has she led
A life of rank inconsequence.
Why not end it now?
She  could. She can. She must. She will.

In the lowly alley where
Her filthy, sore-covered body
Lies in soiled and odious rags
She resolves her terminating actions,
Crawling around drunkenly
Among the soggy rat droppings.

Searching for the wherewithal
With which to end her worthless life.
At last, a broken milk bottle - So
She takes it to her waiting throat.
But, sod it, it's made of plastic
And would not cut through butter hot.

So, instead of sharply slitting
Her eagerly attentive jugular,
She’s barely scratched the grimy epidermis.
And while she lies sobbing in the culvert
Some bloody passing pooch
Micturates thoughtfully on her balding cranium.

Splish! Splash! She’s taking a bath!

[I’d like to give posthumous thanks to Bobby Darin (1936-73) for that last line.]

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


or am I supposed to laugh? I sense--there must be a joke hidden within your monumental tearjerker. I can no longer trust you. Your use of language is great, and I like the title . . . . Okay, I've stopped crying. A pretty interesting write. Oh, damned! Here I go again. Maybe Bobby Darin will cheer me up some--or I will look for a glass milk bottle. Good write!

Splish splash, I was taking a bath
Long about a Saturday night
A rub dub, just relaxing in the tub
Thinking everything was alright

Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor

pathos with a dollop of pity. A sad and seamy tale worthy of applause! All good with the critique, nothing to report here. ~ Geezer.

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..this poem is very sad esp. the splish splash bit.

Poet(ess) to the Stars

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