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EMERGENCY

I was like a man in emergency
Loging for attention in urgency
When neopoet came so suddenly
Accepting and caring for me as an Excellency

And this is from neopoet presidency
We are looking poet will can make a sample
So that they can Be in this temple
As our apple

For u to be the apple u must have a mentor
Who is a creator
Who can use words as a sector

Remember in anything u do brothers and sisters
Always remember that you are somebody
Because my God know didn't take time to make a nobody

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'm sorry this poem didn't get any comments during the contest. The rhythm and rhyme of the poem are definitely its highlights. If I may suggest, try to polish the draft a little more before submitting. Unless you are intentionally using text-speech for a rapper effect, like 2pak did in his own handwritten poetry (such as this one: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a6/a0/79/a6a0791ce071c298968822751b05a34d...). If you're not going for that effect, the use of "u" can be off-putting for readers. When it isn't clearly intentional, it seems lazy.

Hope this helps. My other best suggestion is to read as much as you can, or even listen to audiobooks. There are so many for free on YouTube. That is the best advice any can give for how to improve your writing and grow as a poet. That helps build vocabulary and exposes you to many new forms, images, and ideas to inspire you. Then comes Neopoet, just like you said!

I hope you don't mind my suggestions. You don't have to make any changes you disagree with.

Hope this helps,
Kelsey

Advocates Coordinator

Critique, don't comment.

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www.kelsey-burroughs.weebly.com

informed and perceptive.
The only difference I would have made is to express it more strongly.
This is not a hand-written visual format, it is textual poetry and as such there is really no excuse for the 'u' or other SMS based abbreviations. They are not cool, they are wrong. Neopoet should be capped and, this is a question, not a correction, the word 'Loging'?

I get from you the sense of excitement I felt when I discovered Neopoet 10 years ago, and still feel today. You clearly have a strong verbal sense and heaps of potential. I hope you take Kelsey's advice and I look forward to more of your work.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

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