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The drought breaker

I've lost track of days,
dry and rolling one to next
waiting for that pregnant tick
of life unloading on tin roof.

A birth then, of darkening sky
gathering steady growing drips:
the truth, voluminous in dark pall,
our sky explodes whetted words.

And the yellow starving stalks
that lust for rain, shall lack no more,
deluge bereft
and green shall rise again.

And the slow, rasping grief
of this land will leave us-
the baking, barking dogs
and scratching hand rejoice.

And from the sterile fields leash,
again will come life's choice;
again will come, cool and clear,
life's voice.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Rain dance anyone? Pretty dry down here. Dreaming of the north and wetter times.
Editing stage: 

Comments

the once loose musing...is coming together more in your writing
classic training i sense in the schooling..Like I the old commonwealth
subjects....before we so called went on our way canada...
the words....this poem is really interesting
the abstraction and compact detailing is getting into the rainmaker
language...tricksterism

think yoda...his speak

like the street crazies
not the hustlers
their language is a beat too
the crazies have poetry
tough crowd too acess
and dangerous

your title on this one is
direct and drew me in
I knew it was going to be
good!

poetry is like singing
every voice must be
trained or tried
eventually their is
a moment when the
voice emerges
true

I like this..

my old lady angry voice
too me down here
I have second floor
trim and bedroom
doors to paint
tedious...
mind numbing
we drive each other
bonkers her
and I

its cold damp and snowing
a typical winter day

thank U

I think I absorbed a lot more than booze though, holed up with Kerouack, Burroughs, Keats and K. Times have changed..certainly no classic training per se - more a (not too old) opsimath am I. Total polar opposite of you guys down here - dry as a gnats chuff - as we used to say ;) (Google that one..) - Listening to Bowie's "Hunky Dory" while tapping this - bless 'im - another star up there..

Thanks for your thoughts Esker, take care up there (get one of those little rollers - and put some tune on you'll soon have it done:) ).

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

A little bit of rain in the south, and cooler temps. We can only hope that the fires start to subside. The elements are really challenging us, a fire spotting chopper is flying overhead as I write this - all I can do is attempt to describe it.

Thanks again.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

life's blood of the earth. I felt the pregnancy of the wait for rain. So much feeling here. Great job!
~ Geezer

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Just put the oldies on a plane bound for Queensland - a wee bit wetter up there - incredible extremes in the wide green and brown land.

Thanks,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

painting our second floor....sucking up the semi gloss like shit...five coats..
singing in my best Bowie voice..which I can do...close enough...
Neil young...Nick cave..Bowie..roxy ferry....I was just past the cusp of their
hit times so on FM..the seventy nines onward which I lstened too nightly
throughout summer winter...spring...a glorius time!! then high school
where a girlfriend brought me bowie on eight track...ziggy stardust was on
that album...the rest was history..a magic time..then in eighty nine ..five years after
knowing bowie I found bryan ferry full time....my next girfriend had all his albums
a little nest of an apartment tastefully decorated...went from the country large house
restrictions but nice people to a waterbed!! steaks...and cases of Pernod and John
Labatts gold! omg....I was twenty four and she was thirty! ..page boy hair cut and
skinny as a rake..large grey eyes..snub nose..the artists muse and a horse hair
satin covered chaise lounge too boot! short days of bliss
all fell apart quick....but Bowie she had too...all his albums too..
Eno ...Big Blue was on this Juke Box in the late nineties in toronto....a small bar
a chum and I haunted in the good sections....all probably replaced by dance and
trance now....the dryness...we lived off lake Huron..the great Lakes..winter was plentiful
and summers were dry..the well from the small hill we were on would dry...off to our
grandfathers filling canteens and uncles for showers and the spring where everyone
filled up with cold delicious water..car lines in afternoon...grass would turn brown
and eventually the rains would fall...the storms would come...
magic times...

snowing out here now...
plain old weather up here
nothing out of the ordinary
no storms for years
strange..
and yet nice!

thank U

And don't get me started on Eno! i wrote a piece inspired by "Deep Blue Day" - might post it some time, which appears in the film Trainspotting, Edinburgh of the early nineties, where my early youth was unravelled. I spent some time living in Edinburgh, around the time of Irvine Welsh, the book "Trainspotting" highly recommended reading, and the film, I highly recommend:

http://putlocker.is/watch-trainspotting-online-free-putlocker.html

Nights sleeping in Cemeteries on Calton Hill, slept in the tomb of philosopher David Hume (back in the early nineties all this) - don't think he would have minded being an empiricist:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Old_Calton_David_Hume.jpg
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hume

With our sleeping bags, books, sherry and fellow campers talking philosophy and comedy around gas burners on gravel beaches at dawn, to save money at the Edinburgh International festival (books/comedy/revelry) - stayed with a girl in Edinburgh, I'll never forget. Ahh the things you do when you're young! Makes us who we are..

Take care my crazy Canadian friend!

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

I wrought a poem about drought a few years ago when wells, lakes and streams were drying up around here anreven the kudzu and poison ivy was shriveling. Of course. as is my tendency, the thing ran on and on compared to your more succinct poem lol.............stan

We did get a short, heavy, welcome lump of cloud-burst. not really enough, then we have 50 wildfires to the north of the state, some of them burning out of control. Some help coming from other states in Austrlalia - normally the other way round, and it's dry down here. Really tough times at the moment. Thanks for stopping by.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment
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