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The dreams of youth

In streams and currents gently flow our dreams,
to leave the conscious nap and rest awhile.
Away they carry anguished inner screams,
from worried, busy walking streets that rile.

Most dreams don't often last and shortly thrive.
They almost fade, unably pass-unmaintained.
While wished to ever live in frames alive,
they'll be forgotten once they pass–non gained.

The younker's dreams though often come so true.
They bloom and brightly shine, no matter what
invades the heart and leaves it sometimes blue.
They're ardent, warm, and potent-of real guts.

Their dreams - persistent ones of love and truth,
The goods that oft indwell the heart of youth.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

yes rula
I really like this
great iambic
the feminine line trips me a little, but it works for the effect of the text… making me pause there

one little thing
‘The younker's dreams though often come so true’ – ‘do you mean ‘younger’s’

and
‘invades the heart and leaves it sometimes blue’ – perhaps ‘invade’ without the ‘s’ for better grammar

and also, dependent on what you are saying here
‘The goods that oft indwell the heart of youth’
maybe
‘The good that oft indwells the heart of youth’

a fairly strong volta as well

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thanks Judy..

Younker----> I didn't want to repeat the word youth so I checked

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/younker

Invades----> I think is grammatically correct as I wanted it as an enjambed line of the above.
Thanks a lot for giving the time and a great preview and comment..Much appreciated.
I like "the goods ...." to show they are many what do you think?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

that it needs to be 'invade' - you are referring to a pleurality of dreams.

also, since there is no such word as 'younker', can i suggest you use 'youngsters",..

and yes - that last line - i did say it depended what you were trying to portray here - good or goods...

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

no matter what invades the heart and leaves it blue, they bloom and brightly shine

so I think invades refers back to anything -singular might be or plural but then we use here the singular.(imo) or this is what I've always learned :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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author comment

His (the youngster's) dreams invade
They (the dreams) invade
So whichever you are referring to ...
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

but it refers to none of what you've mentioned but to "anything

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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author comment

Sorry Rula
but it doesn't make sense -at least not to me
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

youngesters dear judy but "Younker" is actually there in 'Merriam Webster Online Dictionary' :)
Just thought I'd say it.

Thank you again

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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author comment

well there you go
and now i have looked it up myself, i have to admit that i had heard of it, and forgotten it
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

14 lines is this a type of poem??
Well written there Rula, I always look up the words poets use in their works.
How on earth did you come up with a street word such as younker.
It is in my slang dictionary but not the Oxford concise.
It is really interesting to know where you found it have you got a 15 Volume Thesaurus ??
Great write there though and it was intense probably as young people are, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

A Shakespearian sonnet dear Ian comes usually in 14 lines.
No volumes. I like to use Merriam Webster On line as I have mentioned above.
You don't need to check any other . Easy to use and gives you almost everything you
need for each entry.

Thanks for dropping a nice comment.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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