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Do You Really Like It?

What do we really like well let's think?
We can jot our thoughts finely pointed Ink.
Such curiosity something.more to think
I am an Apple computer link
clicking everything in seconds to blink

We are savvy writers a snack of words
We peck nestful of Robin birds
The love seed's the finer things
What we like everything becomes a need
Like your taste of mink indeed
So stirring eyes of wine
Like two drinkers wink
Are our hearts racing your car hums?

Do you really like it hearing his drums
But you wipe yourself off drenching wet
And move forward feeling the vibration
Like songs of a duet A love not yet
Take things in stride good attitude.
Your still singing
The flight of noises high latitudes.
He Fill's your heart just breath
How a love is tingling

Having more patience the time flew
Looking at your watch a love you
almost knew
How many other hearts to be viewed
Wearing the crown you asked him
Does he like it? Your home missed "Royalty"
But that's your Oasis of humanity

Your mind builds like a Castle of Chaos?
With such displeasure and Stamos
Seeing his face does it give you pleasure.
How he placed his finger's near her heart
to remind her she's his treasure
How much he loves her

Her heart went pitter and patter.
Is it so important how things matter
You look up your husband surprises you.
Your petite hands he hold's you
Your cheek bloomed into the rose
Either we like something engraved inside you
Where it leads to a
undecisive contradiction.
But we move on another likeful mission.
Self-reliance the Statue of Liberty
When your accustomed to someone
Being accustomed to her face as one

The wedding her gown Vows Up
Everything you cheer thumbs up.
We work hard our hands going way up
Not ever giving up.Your brothers and
Army metals proud fathers

Seeing a side of beauty in our mother's
Do we like more Ultimatums?Those decisions Oh!
what's another mistake? Move on to a new revision
Picking yourself up against red leaves so Autumny.
I have so many likes a plethora home with family,
What an abundance like a superfamily.
The world of lips talk world of Clammily

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Hi, I did this over now I really think it blends well word for word.
Editing stage: 


Welcome to the site. Your poem displays
your originality but it makes me feel I've
been spun around, just trying to find some
rhythm. It is there in splashes but then gone.

My advice would be to tighten it up, find the
rhythm within and place it on the page for your
audience ... and use punctuation and line breaks
to enlist it to be read as you intend.

You have it, now hone it.

I appreciate your constructive criticism I guess this is how we learn like I am still a baby being born. So much to adjust but your words speak the truth I dearly trust.

author comment

...take heed his words
and you thoughts will fly
like feathered things with wings that fly.

This is me but getting lost on the way sometimes makes it a better me.

author comment
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