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Desideratum

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Thu, 2023-06-29 06:32

She’s a rose as lovely as a summer breeze,
my angel, dancing 'neath the woodland trees.
Like a lily, pure and white as fallen snow,
a bloom of breathless beauty, all aglow.

This gleaming goddess girl with a heart of gold,
sweet signorina for my arms to hold.
She’s blessed with those pouting lips I long to kiss.
A magic maiden who without I’d miss.

Surely she’s fallen from golden realms above.
This forest fire of first-born teenage love
who turns all my rigid rhymes to molten lead.
A princess of passion, I intend to wed!

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What did you think of my title?
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Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
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Thu, 2023-06-29 12:32

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Desideratum" captures a sense of admiration and infatuation towards a person. The use of nature imagery, such as comparing the subject to a rose, lily, and woodland trees, adds a romantic and ethereal quality to the poem. The repetition of praising the subject's beauty and describing her as a goddess-like figure creates a sense of awe and reverence.

However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened. Firstly, the language and imagery used throughout the poem are quite conventional and cliché. While it is important to convey the speaker's admiration, using more unique and original descriptions could make the poem stand out. Consider exploring fresh metaphors or finding new ways to express the subject's beauty and allure.

Additionally, the poem lacks specific details or personal experiences that would make the reader connect with the speaker's emotions on a deeper level. Adding specific anecdotes or moments shared with the subject could help create a more intimate and relatable experience for the reader.

Lastly

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