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Dearest

Dearest Catbird, lover of the green brush,
you greet each morning with your cat-like call,
always flighty as if there is a rush,
yet, time to visit on the garden wall.
Dearest Cardinal, songbird of the day,
you paint the trees with vibrant red so bold
that jealous sunlight begs for you to play
within each branch, each leaf the trees may hold.
Dearest Wren, you sweeten the taste of air
with the purest music our world has heard.
You raise your voice as if you wish to share
each luscious note, each caramelized word.

Oh, Nature! Precious is this gift with wings!
Happy is the day that joyfully sings!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Alas! My attempt at a Sonnet! (Is this considered Western?)
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Congratulations!!! Wow, I hope you have some champagne on ice, you have a sonnet beautifully crafted and sings so well, if it's your first, then it's your first of many
Just wonderful.

Thank you...Teddy

I think wondrous birds are sonnet worthy, so I gave it a try.
Thank you for your tender comments!
L

author comment

Birds are so worthy, I just got so excited that I didn't say how much I love the theme a truly wonderful sonnet.

Thank you...Teddy

xoxo
L

author comment

LoL I don't care if I get on your nerves because I forgot to say Shakespeare would be proud. I promise not to comment again on this, I'll let someone else come join the party.

Thank you...Teddy

I am always grateful for your comments. Thanks for your generous help!
L

author comment

this sonnet is considered western poetry. Nice theme about birds! I would remove the spaces between the quatrains. My opinion. The separation of the couplet from the text body is very good. Good job. Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

Separation between quatrains will be removed - done and did! Thanks so much for the suggestion and for reading!
L

author comment

of a judge on sonnets, but I enjoyed the songs of your birds. "Carmelized words". Nothing much sweeter than that. ~ Geez.
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The Wren has the sweetest song of all, in my opinion!
Thank you!
L

author comment

Dearest Catbird

Dearest Catbird, lover of the green brush,
you greet each morning with your cat-like call,
always flighty as if there is a rush,
yet, time to visit on the garden wall.

Dearest Cardinal, songbird of the day,
you paint the trees with vibrant red so bold
that jealous sunlight begs for you to play
within each branch, each leaf the trees may hold.

Dearest Wren, you sweeten the taste of air
with the purest music our world has heard.
You raise your voice as if you wish to share
each luscious note, each caramelized word.

Oh, Nature! Precious is this gift with wings
happy is the day that joyfully sings

note small1

second two Dearest
you may perhaps like to change
only my refrain

Do your own wish maintain
all will and must sustain

Hmm...I am a little confused by the proper spacing for the quatrains in a sonnet. Seems to be more than one way to space a sonnet! :) I will need to look a bit further. I appreciate your input very much!
Thank you for helping me with this!
L

author comment
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