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Darkness is Light
in the jungle of my mind
i write invisible thoughts
which no one likes to read.
only crickets sing them at night
serenading for me
one of my songs
"darkness is the light
when the world goes to sleep
in solitude listen to the breath
most precious to life.
in this world you came alone
you shall leave alone in time
darkness is the light
to walk alone in peace".
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Seren
Mon, 2018-05-21 14:48
Sigh
Sublime Raj. I love this.
I wont gush too much
the Elf will chastise me lol
Hugs and love J x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Mon, 2018-05-21 14:59
Thanks Jayne
for the read. Don't worry about Elf because few folks hear visit my page anyway, surely not finding it worth investing their time.
warmly...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentSeren
Wed, 2018-05-23 15:03
Raj
It is their loss you've always been one of my favs. And I will visit as much as my health permits.
Keep writing my friend I feel it would be sin not to.
Biggest hugs Jayne xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Wed, 2018-05-23 15:10
Thanks Jayne
for your kind words which are like tonic. Of course I will keep writing regardless of how many read and comment to have some creative satisfaction and in the process keep myself on the learning curve...
please read only when you feel comfortable and have time
hugs back
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentRula
Mon, 2018-05-21 16:32
Dear Raj
I thought this stanza stands for its own and enough to make the poem ... of course just an opinion.
So many favorite lines... can't really decide
"in the jungle of my mind
i write invisible thoughts
which no one likes to read
only crickets sing them at night
serenading for me
one of my songs."
very very enjoyable dear friend!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Tue, 2018-05-22 05:31
Thanks Rula for finding the
Thanks Rula for finding the time to read and comment. Appreciated.
.....................................................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
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