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Dancing Dan

Submitted by trekker on Thu, 2018-02-15 12:01

Driving down the road in my car,
on the sidewalk, I saw a star,
moving, he was groovin' to a tune,
on a sunny, sunny afternoon,
in a state of locomotion,
in his dance devotion,
high stepping down the block,
he glided above the walk,
walking fast with a purpose,
displaying a energy surplus,
headphones keeping out the traffic racket,
always wearing a hoodie jacket,
sporting Ray Charles sunglasses,
entertaining the stuck in traffic masses,
ke was known as Dancing Dan,
dancing like nobody can,
moonwalk better than Michael Jackson,
get down to Grand Funk Junction,
hands and arms constantly on the move,
totally immersed in the groove,
his James Brown moves had so much flair,
with his John Travolta hair,
now Dancing Dan always improved my day,
but I wonder, does he do ballet?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Dancing Dan is a real person living in Spruce Grove Alberta. He was forced to move there by the authorities after he was fined $500 for his dancing moves. He was deemed a distraction to drivers. He told me "he just wants to make people happy" which he does for me.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

raj

Thu, 2018-02-15 13:47

your "last few words" helped understand that your poem revolves around not an imaginary person but real time. Even then, the way you have scripted this piece created the desired image of Dancing Dan. I loved the rhythm which you have maintained through and through the entire poem.

I am surprised to know that the authorities imposed restriction on him to deter him from what seems to be not worthy of being classified as offensive...Having said that I am myself a victim of being restricted from posting more than one poem to a workshop which as per the rule books is permissible..

Thanks for posting this poem which has lifted my mood after getting a feeling of being a culprit for fact mentioned above..

Regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Eumolpus

Thu, 2018-02-15 21:29

Eumolpus's picture

a very famous song in 60's and 70's. Check it out! A street dancer.ballad.

Consider the last line- it has no relevance to the poem, and is a distraction.

I think you should include the history of this person to have a more engaging poem. It gives the poem a greater purpose, this guy who shares his passion in this way and got fined...

Perhaps use "superstar" for "star". (although both are trite as he is really neither. Dan appears to be a real artist, performing for joy, not caught up in celebrity bullshit.)

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

trekker

Thu, 2018-02-15 22:51

Thanks for the gracious comments. In terms of my poetry I always try to consider my audience. When I write I want my audience to reflect positively and with a sense of happiness, like Dancing Dan told me I just want to make people happy. The last line is to give you a chuckle! When I hear from someone who is the ward of the courts, and is struggling on what the Canadian government gives him, I am amazed he can have such a positive attitude and still feel the joy of life. As to his background, he told me he is a hairy Italian Native man born in Edmonton coming from an abusive childhood. He is unemployed(he got fired for dancing too much), and is living on social assistance. He should be an inspiration to us all if we are down on our life or luck. I am sixty two and last year almost ruined me and so knowing him is a real inspiration to keep on writing and living.

author comment

raj

Fri, 2018-02-16 04:43

thanks for providing more insights about Dancing Dan and many thanks for making a poem and posting it here. Truly inspiring..

Regards...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Geezer

Thu, 2018-02-22 13:03

Geezer's picture
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is half the performer that your poem says he is, I'm not surprised that the authorities have banned him from along the roadways. [Not that I agree with them], but the suggestion that he is a distraction, is hard to ignore. Too bad that his predilection for dancing has made him unemployable. I like that you gave a little background to this character. Makes it more interesting~ Nice job. ~ Geezer.
.

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