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The Cure

The Cure

A walk through the passage of time hauntingly
Sending a chill down the spine it's time to rewind
We each must do our part as a card carrying member of the human race
The push to let go of cold ego's sketched in fragmentary decorum
The darkened pathway leads to a unbelievable sky in vast formation
A thick blade of grass will be still in the wind for a time
For love does know how a beautiful flower grows
The castle we have in our imagination is built on love
A grove of pillars wax cold throughout the vast duration
A dungeon where warlock's expose their remedy for their madness
Out of a caged fury a dragon brings forth it's alarming fire blown desire
We search for truth today fresh out of a garbage can left undone
The cure all method to the madness is more love
A sullen mast left dangling in the noon day sun
The slight radiance of fire has been blown in full desire
A challenge to be free is a question of time
With a soft sound of angelic laughter leaning towards the open door
Many have their eyes fixed on a dream that will never come true
A heartbeat of sunshine through the direct sequence of love
To search for treasure in the garbage can filled with hate
Clap your hands to summon the rescue of all that is good
All is a will for power it's time to break the evil imaginative thought process
With long lines now searching for their rescue to come with a sincerity
Come with me to this place where we can receive the cure

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
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Comments

They do not tie together as narrative or poetry.
To make this work, and yes, it is good, has great potential, you need to unify it either with narrative or prosodic structure: meter, rhyme, alliteration, something.

I'm sorry workshops have been at a bit of an ebb lately, meter would be my strongest suggestion to make this work.
You can always learn from past workshops at the workshop archives
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/find/archive

Honestly, this poem is worthy of major revision to get across what you are trying to say.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

when all else fails...Rolling Stones..The Gories tunes from Detroit! Blondie!..Tool..The Kills..
not the most peaceful of song...But passion...a hurt gone wrong!
like the losing team...You still play the game and cheer anyway....someone will always
be watching on your side...The old Underdogs of the world!!
see em grooving along!! Wardogs!

when I feel really crushed I pray...not enough...Like I used too!
grinding along sparks flying....get used to it after awhile...

Might get back to painting or carve me a walking stick...dragons head
or wolf..Something groovy! got it in me to do it! see how time goes
over winter!
Everyone I talk too has dreams
pulling down two jobs or stuck in a relationship thats too unbearable
to face leaving...just enduring..financially etc..
people carry the weight!
the suffering...I have been blessed
there was always the light that shone!
I do good...Not like Oh oh I Better do good
that is in me too!
some people dont feel
met a few of those
nasty work that!

if U can feel...emote..give..
let out some slack
the days are bearable
but...The ache as my
friends call it..
Oh thats dear!

been lucky to have been
a special chapter here
and there....not the book
mere pages..
dog eared...
a ticket of time pressed
I find I need em at this
age...
questioning what it has all
been about...

A great write on the question
of man
to Be!
to be!
that is the answer!

thank U!

Mr wolf!

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