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Crown

Submitted by MDT on Thu, 2015-04-16 08:04

You
are
so
charmingly
enchanting
with
those
lush
irresistible
mystical
eyes
and
Your soul
is worldly
from dusk,
in the deserts
to dawn,
in the mountains
your mind
deep as
the ocean
and a
kiss
from
your lips,
an ancient potion
your presence
soft as flower petals
that fall from a rose, in a crown of thorns
upon my head.

MDT 2015

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Sparrow

Thu, 2015-04-16 19:26

Sparrow's picture
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Welcome back an unusual way of writing but acceptable as the content was good.
Though the love theme is tired in this day and age, I look forward to some of your other themes and writes, Yours Ian.T

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

MDT

Fri, 2015-04-17 14:26

MDT's picture

thanks Ian...i write what i feel, and i feel love :)

Peace love and harmony light the path we must take. - MDT

author comment

raj

Fri, 2015-04-17 14:35

i know not why the theme of "love" is considered obsolete or over used or unacceptable...whereas everyone is going head over heels with strict forms

everyone is entitled to an opinion...as for me..i liked the innovation and the free flowing form of your poem...never mind harsh critique as you are likely to encounter....

keep writing on any theme which inspires you...

i love wild flowers more than those arranged neatly in rows in flower beds or in pots,

raj (sublime_ocean)

MDT

Mon, 2015-05-11 07:37

MDT's picture

Thanks Raj...

Peace love and harmony light the path we must take. - MDT

author comment
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