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When all fells
I will stand tall
When all turned against
I will console again
If all give you war
I will defend and stay just.

When the trees are green
We shall listen to the sweet songs
of birds and watch them dance
And when the darkness comes
I will lead and guide you home.

When the light shine
We shall dance with our shadow imitating
For love is in our midst
And when the skies are falling
I 'll be standing right next to you
For it takes only a brave to be a hero.

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Heroic life requires braveness but compassion is theme on stage

author comment

You right but real gentle heros also have compass in order to help and save lives.
Truly I love your conversations and comments on this site, thanks a lot.

author comment

Did you read the workshop description and the workshop thread?Workshops are interactive, you can post questions and comments on the workshop page.

https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/primal-poetry

This poem, while fine in its own right, has got nothing to do with the workshop. A dead giveaway, how can a description of 'eyelid movies' be in the future tense?

If you actually want to participate go back to the workshop page, read the description and then you don't have to read the whole thread, just from
https://www.neopoet.com/comment/166794#comment-166794
onwards.

I promise you the rewards are very real.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

just sit in a comfy chair

relax, breathe, clear your mind, close your eyes and listen to the drumming.
Then you don't see blackness, you see colours and forms.
Let go, don't try to think, just watch. The colours and forms will resolve into images. You are in a waking dream.

When it is finished just write down what you saw and felt without trying to make poetry.
Good luck.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

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