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Christmas at Sea

A gale blew in on Christmas Eve;
we headed out to face the angry sea,
some 80 crew away from home,
including one tired navigator, me.

Our Coast Guard Cutter was “bucking” out
from Port-au-Prince, where we had served
long weeks on our patrol, but now,
we longed for rest so well deserved.

Then we received a call that took
us off our Portsmouth course,
to save those lives in peril of the sea--
for now the storm increased in force;

We knew that Santa would not come to us,
those “Always ready; Semper Paratus.”

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
True account. My focus had been on end rhymes, not syllable count.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the tale of the gale? Or the fact that you did not focus on syllable count? Lol. I like the story, but it seemed to be rather short in the end. I'm thinking that it should have been a little bit more dramatic and described the actual rescue. ~ Geez.
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welcome to Neo Poet
I was actually looking for more it seemed to have ended to abruptly perhaps another stanza or two

Chrys

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that's the long and the short of my tale. I've done enough jibber-jabber; time for my winter nap. Merry Christmas, and to all a good night.
Val, et al.

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