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A Cambridge Lamentation

This place is always a little lonely
At the weekends...no noise and life;
I like solitude,
But not in places
Where there’s recently been
A lot of people.
Reclusiveness protects you
From nostalgia,
And you can be as nostalgic
In relation to what happened
Half an hour ago,
As half a century ago, in fact more so.

My capacity for social warmth,
Excessive social dependence,
And romantic zeal,
Can be practically deranging;
It’s no wonder I feel the need
To escape,
From my own
Drastic social emotivity,
And devastating capacity
For loneliness.
I feel trapped here;
There’s no outlet for my talents.

In such a state as this,
I could fall in love with anyone.
The night before last,
I went to the ball,
Couples filing out,
I wanted to be half of every one,
But I didn't want to lose…
I’ll get over how I feel now,
And very soon.
Gradually I’ll freeze again,
Even assuming an extra layer of snow.
I have to get out of here.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
'A Cambridge Lamentation' centres on my brief sojourn in teacher training college in the city of Cambridge, England. Its primary source is a letter written on the Hills Road just outside the city centre at the age of 31 some time before Christmas, but never finished, nor sent, and which, according to what I have written, was adapted into various pieces, which were subsequently fused together to forge 'A Cambridge Lamentation', notwithstanding later edits, one of which took place on the 18th of August 2019.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

of expressing your emotion of feeling alone "in places that there had been so recently been, a lot of people." Also the thought that; "I wanted to be half of every one." ~ Geez.
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It was based on bits and pieces written many years ago, but I'm glad it works OK. Carl.

author comment

Is this about your university days?

It's so gorgeous sad yes but so heavily written with your heart

I just love this stanza Sir,

From nostalgia,
And you can be as nostalgic
In relation to what happened
Half an hour ago,
As half a century ago, in fact more so

Inspiring. Also the end of the poem it's so powerful, and could mean so many things. Isn't it amazing when we look back at writing from times passed. I only have 11 years worth but there is always something inside and a reason it's there.

Thank you.

Thank you...Teddy

your responses to my verses, Teddy, you word them so exquisitely, and the power you sense and detect is amazing, and means so very much. And yes, it was written straight from the heart and soul. I spent a brief time at a teacher training college in Cambridge as a trainee French teacher in the mid 1980s, in the event, though I spent several years teaching English as a Foreign Language, a job I adored. But was only in Cambridge a few months, but they produced this piece.

author comment
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