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The Bubble burst

The bubble burst for banks that play with cash
encoding phantom wealth, made real by crimes
that promise a course of escalating times;
who’s truth is based on no more than the ash.

So now we want reform to bind wall street,
pull economic power from the few
who rule the money but do not renew
the social pact, when they with ease may cheat.

We say no more on a global scale will we
let companies so grow they may not fail.
and never more will we affect the bail
or listen to their slimy, lying plea.

And so we go to wash the filth from hands
as if we’re more than just disgruntled fans.

Editing stage: 

Comments

There is to me some break up in the meter of this mostly iambic work. I certainly am ok with rhythm breaks but they have to flow along. often it's a little shift, an article ("the" or "so") here's a few examples of how I would correct:

-who’s truth is based on no more than ash.
-the social pact they with ease may cheat
- we go to wash the filth from hands
we’re more than just disgruntled fans.

Do you hear what I mean? Tap it our, like you're drumming.

The subject seems a bit dated, although always important. It was the theme of the Obama times to curb the excesses of the deregulation under Bush which caused the recession. It let the greed run amok. Barney-Frank did some good. From my son and friends in the financial sector (not all are criminals!) the new regulations have helped some major issues. The larger subject, that of monopoly and the defeats of anti-trust regulation by the slew of new republican judges...this is a more a problem today, to me, then the "slimy" banks....but be that as it may, it's your poem and certainly should say it as you see it.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Nice going at Sonnet structure.
The theme may be a bit outdated but I'm thinking of the title.
My bubble is small and that would mean that I tend not to let people into my life.
On that note another way of looking at your title would be f it were small then there would be no letting in or no transparency. It's how I would look at it from my perspective.
I might call it 'The Fat Man Explodes' lol something like that. That's me though.
Or 'When the bubble disappears..'
Anyhow The title caught my eye and so thus..I was here with my 2 pennies worth :~)

I thought Sonnets are primarily love songs Hmm..
Maybe or using the structure with any theme is cool..
Later,

~Mark~

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are about everything and anything. In a collection of 42 sonnets I just self published I wrote this in the author's notes :

"People respond with such pleasure to hear a sonnet. It is part of how we first were introduced to poetry. The sonnet is a perfect form to capture the essence of an idea. Within 14 lines and rhymes it allows for a short narrative and a punch line to expand with meanings.

"There is more to a sonnet than being quaint. The rhyme “sticks” to you with just the right amount of breathing between the lines. It is generally a musical read at whatever pace the reader prefers.

"Sonnets are a joy to compose, (a word I don’t use when writing in “free verse”). Within its limits there is the freedom to explore content without having to consider what form a poem will take, what shape a poem will be. "

Robert Lowell must have written 1000 sonnets, as did so many others, Elizabeth Bishop, John Donne (Death be not Proud). I highly recommend you write a whole bunch, it's like playing scales and etudes on an instruement..it just will make your voice better.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Hi Eumolpus
Here I am going for iambic pentameter so must stay in it's rhythm.

I agree with you on what you consider most important, but this was written when the banks were predominantly in the news..

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

author comment

Hi Mark
About the bubble; when I was young we use to carefully blow out bubbles to see how large we could make them before they burst.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

author comment
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