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BROKEN JINX

When a jinx is broken
Something new takes its place
From the awards so far taken
The worth puts smiles on a face
Retarded energy draws them back
Till a jinx puts a stop to it

When a jinx is broken
Shattered shackles of slavery
That held captives to be beaten
Now testify to their bravery
Ill luck suffered setback
A jinx put an end to it

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

...this piece, t. rex.! I did enjoy reading this, it had a strange way of appealing to my instincts. Overall, I believe that you did a rather "stellar" job on this effort.
Thanx, for that;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

I am experimenting on new forms, the caption got into my head and the jinx that blocked me is broken. Thank you for your comments and for the appeal to your instinct, best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

I like it. That's all. No complaints, no suggestions, just like it. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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i am glad you like this one, I have been experimenting on new forms lately. Best wishes

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment
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