Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

the breath

In a moment, all time seems to stand still
the question speeds through your head, am i going to see tomorrow
And you realize the answer is in your hands
In slow motion, your worst fear becomes the worlds reality
the sound echos as you try to form a single thought
the rush of fear takes over like a demon casting a spell
That last moment, last breath of the reality you once knew

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


I would use line breaks for your sentences ( each thought or wherever you would use a comma break to a new line) This poem reads like a suicide?


check out our chat room open to all 24/7

with Chrys, use your commas to break the lines and make new ones. it's easier on the eyes and makes for smoother reading.
~ Geezer.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.