Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Boys go to War, 1914

They went to war, eyes ablaze with hope and pride
But death swept the land and took them in its stride
They loved their country and the paths were paved with gold
But Death's dark grip would soon enfold
Them in his arms and they'd no longer see day's light
They'd lie in the mud and feel the pain of the glory and the fight.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
British? French? German? To the guns of the Western Front all were the same.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hi, Edna,
You have brought the trenches to light. And you are so correct - they were all the same.
Thank you,
L

no matter whose side you are on. I do have hope for the human race, a slim one. Maybe one day, if we survive long enough, we will decide that the price of war is too much to bear; but I fear that there will always be those who will try to take advantage of those who are reluctant to go to war and we will be forced to do it once again. Nice work. ~ Geezer.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

From your title this poem is more than 100 years old, with a beautifully compassionate picture of what it was like for them, you have brought them back to life with so much dignity. Your last words mean so much!

Thank you...Teddy

Dear Edna, your poem brings such sad thoughts. I read All
Quiet on the Western Front. My father's two brothers were lost "somewhere in France" ages about 18 or so. Churchill's name was never mentioned in my home, my father blamed him for such massive slaughter on all sides. Some decades ago, the British soldiers' bodies were found and are now in Britain. Some are NN's.

They went to war, eyes ablaze with hope and pride
Death swept the land and took them in its stride
They loved their country and paths were paved with gold
Death's dark grip would soon enfold.

A few suggestions above, for you to TorT, best, Gracy

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

Thank you all for your kind comments.
.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment

..so my thousands of fans here at Neo can expect a few more along these lines!

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.