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the blemish

Submitted by judyanne on Thu, 2016-05-19 09:05

.
I took a blood-red rose
and pressed it
between the pages of my heart
where it dried
paper thin
and brittle
leaving a black bruise
the colour of pain
.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

jane210660

Thu, 2016-05-19 10:52

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I'm getting boring, because all I keep saying is 'I like this' or 'I love this'.
So i'll try to say why I like this. To me the imagery is very bold. Also I like the fact it is in four stages, you took a rose, pressed it,it dried and you bruised, it's got a good sequence.
Jx

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judyanne

Thu, 2016-05-19 11:27

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Be as boring as you like Jane... so long as you tell me you like my write I'm in seventh heaven
:-)
Thank you
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

brittle light

Thu, 2016-05-19 21:06

brittle light's picture

Memories of pure hope and joy are the hardest to bear; when ultimately knowing of their crushing disappointment.
This piece has, and elicits, such a strong emotional feeling,
It doesn't seem right for me to call it 'clever'...but it is

Al

judyanne

Fri, 2016-05-20 07:41

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Thanks so very much for the very positive comment.
I'm very glad you felt the emotion -
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Roscoe Lane

Fri, 2016-05-20 00:15

Roscoe Lane's picture

Very succinct and smart, Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

judyanne

Fri, 2016-05-20 07:42

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For the visit and very kind comment
so nice to see you
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Keith Logan

Fri, 2016-05-20 03:47

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especially the last two lines, which are as close to anything I could ever write in terms of abstract poetry.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

judyanne

Fri, 2016-05-20 07:44

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for the supportive comment
I'm very glad to hear you enjoyed this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

lovedly

Fri, 2016-05-20 14:14

lovedly's picture

at times,
then softly change your stance
and
apply butter with the same knife

a rose you crushed
sad
was it for pleasure
if so I must be mad
not to know how dry roses
in library books leave
black stains

your poetry is beyond
the realms of my minuscule mind
hope some day
I shall
in your mind's form
myself find..

judyanne

Sat, 2016-05-21 02:28

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Thank you for the words of support
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

lovedly

Thu, 2016-06-09 05:49

lovedly's picture

Judy
so that you may help strike all waffle
out of me
okay for me

scribbler

Fri, 2016-05-20 16:22

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Sometimes the best part of a poem is not what is said but what is implied or inferred. Such is the case in good poetry and such is the case in this poem.......stan

judyanne

Sat, 2016-05-21 02:29

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Thank you for the very supportive comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2016-05-24 13:49

Esker's picture

Great poem!
Loved its imagery!
books....put that puppy in
there and jump on it..
I save everything
and from that
when I least expected
it comes back
Dreams...thoughts..
feelings..flashbacks
emotions....
half the time I forget
I put it all in there
but Im glad I did...
some things are painful
and not discarded but
set aside..pressed and
preserved for the one
day understanding
and re look
re examination
re feel

and suprising how
fresh it all is
but then we are
alive
and unlike the
motionless of the
archive
we bring life to
its meaning

thank U Judyanne!

judyanne

Thu, 2016-06-09 04:33

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I have scaps of scraps stored everywhere lol
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

mand

Wed, 2016-05-25 04:22

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The imagery in this is incredibly powerful! A bruised heart would be so very painful. :(

Love to you Judyanne xxx

Mand xxx

judyanne

Thu, 2016-06-09 04:35

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Thanks for the read and very kind comment
love right back at you xxx
.

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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