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Blackberry Run

White blossoms
yellow jackets
sip nectar
feel of spring in the air.

Black butterfly
flutterby
red berries
underneath the vines.

The sun burning hot
dips behind a cloud
welcoming cool breeze
saves the day.

It won't be long before blackberries run everywhere
birds, squirrels, deers come to the feast.

Editing stage: 

Comments

You capture this snapshot in time well. I recall not too long ago when I didn't have to race the deer to the black berries and wild plums lol

I can never beat the deers to my blackberries lol...I only a few

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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although I'm not a fan of minimalistic versification, in this case, I enjoyed reading your poem about spring and summer with gentle creatures abound. I can even take those yellow jackets, lol. Love your poem! Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

Nice to meet you. Thanks for visiting my poem. I have hundreds of yellow jackets every year. They never sting me. I get close up pictures of their little bodies sipping nectar.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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although I'm not a fan of minimalistic versification, in this case, I enjoyed reading your poem about spring and early summer with gentle creatures and berries abound. I can even take those yellow jackets, lol. I love your poem! Jerry

>
>
>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

You captured the scene very well. I used to go berry-picking a lot before I got sick, can only do a little now, can't get out in the woods much. But yes, you got the day perfectly! Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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thanks for stopping by. I don't have to go far my back yard is covered. As you may guess for that to happen my grass hasn't been cut in a while. It by choice because I like the woodsy scene. the front yard get cut tho.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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to have a Loganberry tree in my back yard though, and we enjoy them very much, it's a really big tree with lots of berries and we gather them for making pancakes and just to eat with cream. ~ Geezer.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

I have not heard of loganberry. It sounds like summer fun.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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It was a misidentification; they aren't Loganberries. They are Mulberry trees. I always thought that they were, but then someone told me no, they are Loganberries. I went to look for an identification to send you a link and discovered for myself, that they are Mulberry trees! But they look very much like other bramble-type bushes, only no thorns. When these trees get really big there are so many berries that the birds and squirrels can't eat them all, we spread sheets of plastic on the ground and throw something into the tree to knock them down and collect them. Great for pancakes and muffins and we can freeze some for later. ~ Geezer.
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Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

I've eaten many mulberries

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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Really like the idea of the style of the poem. A few short lined stanzas followed by a lengthy one. The last has nothing to do with the sound of the others, but because it's long and prose it picks up the speed which makes it effective.

Of the first 3 I like the second most. "spring is in the air" is too ordinary for the other images , might use spring as an adjective here, not a noun as something in "the spring air" The second stanza is all image, great words. The last stanza...the poem is about early spring which I don't associate with the dog days of hot summer when a cool breeze would "save the day", but that might be just my own take.

but nice poem, nice devises.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

The last two lines wouldn't be shortened. Grammar check corrected it. I'm happy it works since I wrote it on impulse. I naturally write this way. The title "Feel Of Spring" maybe more creative.

The phrase "save the day" works in this piece. The white, bright sun on my skin burned, thus the breeze was welcoming as I became mesmerized by yellow jackets, a grasshopper, a black butterfly in the moves about the blackberry patch.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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