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Black Head Verses White Head Composition

Submitted by medes879 on Fri, 2019-09-13 18:35

at first a small bump underneath the chin
take a pill to drawn out my friend
then a volcanic splash that nearly kicks my ass
Black head smiles back at the scene
Whiter head approaches fine

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Pugilist

Sun, 2019-09-15 13:23

Pugilist's picture
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I am not certain what you want to say here. If it's just biological, okay. If it's something else, I am not seeing it.

A couple of things:

1) Capitalization - It's inconsistent and, as such, I am not understanding why the last two lines are capitalized and nothing else is

2) Punctuation - while I am not a fan of a lack of punctuation, you are consistent here. That matters

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Jonathan Moore

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