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Biafran Strong

How many times will you shoot me
To find out I cannot die?
How many times will you set me ablaze
To find out I cannot burn?

Oh Nigeria, a prison to them that seek to be free;
A gated nightmare to them that dream dreams;
Your near destiny down in the dust of doom.
For many years have I sought from you separate,
But you seek me to kill, my children to destroy.

Alas, Nigeria....your name as a horror accursed of gods!
In the womb you eat the unborn and starve their mothers to death,
As politicians freely steal yet hone your sword to slaughter
Those who seek forever to be free!
As wine you drink the blood of your young,
As meet their flesh you eat and boast,
Many of them on exile to live but again.

I fear not your guns nor the soldiers who wield them,
Dead to conscience as a loss to humanity,
They terrorize by nights and vandalize by mornings;
They shoot and kill those not quite so strong,
But in a battle field in shame they fall....

Your sword driven inside of me, my soul to eviscerate,
Yet whole I am, strong I stand and move;
A blossoming tree, rooted in ancient waters,
From whose tongue drips morning dews still.

I am as the force of seven seas,
Yet in gentle ripples into tributaries they break,
To water dry lands and dead bones give life,
Flowing through their ridges and slithering by their cracks.

I am like a mother hen,
Who scratches the ground for grains to feed her young.
Her crackles her voice her bond with her chicks;
Under the shadow of her wrings her chicks she protects.

I am Biafra.....the hope of tomorrow,
The land of the rising sun,
A half yellow moon yet brighter than a full moon;
On and on I shall contend till all things create anew.

How many times will you shoot me
To find out I cannot die?
How many times will you set me ablaze
To find out I cannot burn?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

is the protagonist in this poem is Freedom! You paint a very strong picture of the lengths that men will go to kill freedom, but also the strength of those who have tasted freedom and thirst for more! I especially like a line here, that at any other time
[ and before a statement by Obi on another poem], I would have tried to correct your language use. I applaud your line:
" I fear not your soldiers, dead to conscience who shoot and kill little children and women.
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I appreciate your time.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

author comment

The powerful voice of a freedom fighter.
I seriously doubt that a comfortable western white chap such as I could come close to understanding the struggles of which you speak, but your piece goes somewhere t'wards that.

"The evil that men do lives after them,
the good is oft interred with their bones".

"One man's terrorist
is another man's freedom fighter."

(Come, Take.)

Enjoyed, Obi.

Your words are inspiring. Thank you.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

author comment

I got a strong undertone of strength, defiance, and bravery. Your angst is real, and there is no doubt of it in this write.

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