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Beyond Shangri-La, (edit repost)

The dream of Shangri-la
Seems insane to me
I could not live in a place
That was void
Of war and hate.

I need the day to day
Rat race
So I can battle back,
feeling the pull and tug
Of my own fate.

To sit there,
just contemplate
With people who mentally
Are in the same place
Without life’s full plate.

Is it possible
To be polite everyday
sing and dance
have no cares
Knowing that there’s
Pain out there.

Wasn’t heaven
Just that place
Then Satan said;
Oh my God!
What a boring state.

Is not Shangri-la
And communism
the same
Then who wants to live
That way.

To have opinions
On the state of affairs
And vote
On what I think
Is fare.

I want to live, think,
And dare
not being told
How to wear my hair
living for what I care.

I will live
This one and only life
which so far
has been right
With no thoughts
Of a Shangri-la.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I had posted this on the old site, I've made some changes and reposted
Editing stage: 

Comments

I've often thought about Shangri-la (loved the movie versions).

That's the gist of it, we can't even imagine a world other than the way it is... but who could have
imagined it to begin with? So heaven/Eden/Shangri-La is either here and now, or never was and
quite possibly never will be. But who knows for sure? i don't I only know what I know, what I
believe to be true, and what I hope for.

"I will live
This one and only life
That so far has been good
Without the thought
Of a Shangri-la."

Perfect. Seems to me enough of a Shangri-la for a lifetime. Blessings to you and yours, Eduardo.

~A

to me shangri-la is where I live my heaven i created it and i am its God as you are the Goddest of your heaven. when we meet we are a part of the living Universe. that is our connection, for ever, because we will forever exist in the fabric of life.
thanks for the visit, and seeing your heaven in this write!
Always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

food for thought Eddie, considering the book I am reading. Neitzsche describes jesus as the sacrifice..the guiltless dying for the guilt of others...which when you think about it, makes the religious fanatics a little weird.

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

That was why I wanted you to read it, because I saw you mention it to Bloke I believe. The whole religion thing can be an interest subject, because people do not want to think for themselves. tha'st how the use of blind faith came to be. I'll tell you i'm not blind to anything,. I refuse to go off the mountain because of faith, at lease not without a parchute. Hahaha!

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

because I've always been one to have my own idea on what 'faith' is and it's in ourselves first and foremost, I don't fear death but I'd much rather believe the Buddhist view that we come back often enough to fix our mistakes rather than to believe that there is a kingdom of god waiting for us. If souls are given up after we die then who goes up there? Surely not the body. So yeah..Nietzsche makes more sense to me and The Antichrist although written in his lucid moments in between his onset of madness is quite entertaining and I must confess to chuckling over his idea that Paul the apostle was one of the biggest liars going around and that he needed Christ's death to give him power over the people for the hallucination that Christ had risen lol..I think the entire train wondered why I had the giggles considering the book...then again no one has ever considered me 'normal' :P

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

For lack of a better word I do believe after you told me this that you are normal. The people you say think your not, are those people who have been domisticate by religous belief, following does doctrines without proof going just on faith without question like cows being lead by the horns.
Death is for me very interesting. I don't know about coming back, but at times I do feel like I have lived other lifes, it's like me and my lady we are taoist, we can and have seen the connection between us and other life's we've shared, so our love seem more universal then just happening now.
Let me share this quote she just send me tonight, I love her for thing like this, she read it in one of her eastern spiritual books> "Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice. The flow that has passed, will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.." And that is how we live our life's with no thought of a God, but rather a universal force that we are all connected to, no chains or fear of a puinshing god, for us it's your own Karma that hurt you. so if you live good the universe will provide good in return. I don't know, is this to much. it's just how I feel about the world trying to impose it's dream on me.
Eddie C..

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

Eddie it's a beautiful quote and anything rather than ordered religion and christianity is ok by me :)

Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche

"Jesus died for somebodies sins but not mine"

cheers,
Jess
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I'll drop back soon to review this Eddie,
I have some suggestions.

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
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This one's real good my friend, you're absolutely right; without war, no peace, without hate, no love. Without death, no life. Shangri-la would be a hideously boring place to exist, no doubt.

Some minor things:
7th stanza, last line, did you mean "fair", or is that a play on words? heehee.
2nd stanza, I would change "feeling" to "feel"

The flow of this is very good, the cadence is wonderful, and of course, I like the sentiment very much.

On a personal note, (just my own opinion!) I'm cool with christianity; you need to be saved, Christ's the one to do it. Messiah, Son Of God, Son Of Man, Jesus Christ, meek and mild or raging angry in the temple of His Father, it's all good far as I'm concerned. I just don't personally need saving, since I don't believe in sin, or a judgemental god, lol.
Of course, Allah will do just as well. Or Krishna. Or Yahweh, Thor, Llyr, Astarte, Isis, Odin, Hermes or any and every other god and goddess every human being believes in, and many that most don't anymore, in these modern times! All paths lead to the same destination.
It aint the religion that's at fault, it's the people that use it to control and harm others, heehee.
Just my 2 cents.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Thanks, we are pretty much in agreement it is those who use it to control, the power trip with he'll and brimstone as the kicker.
Yes, stanza 7 is a play on words, it about paying my own way at the price that I think is fair. Kind of referening to taxes. That why the vote in the previous line
Stanza two "feeling" as in happening all the time past and present, at lease that's the way I see it.
Your input is highly appreciated!
thanks, I happy you enjoyed it and left your opinion that what I wanted from this write, to enduce conversation
Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

author comment

At first glance the 3rd stanza seems a contradiction, it could be clarified by putting a stronger negation in it like-
I couldn't sit there,
just contemplating

In stanza 6 the reference to communism is a bit naive. Do you really think communist states resemble shangri la? Or even try to? It is a typically American Macarthyist hangover to equate the equality of opportunity proposed by communism with dragging all individuals down to the same level.

In my opinion the wordplay on fare in stanza 7 doesn't work, it just looks like a mis-spelling. Fair is an adjective and fare is a noun, so it would be difficult to make it work.

love the last stanza.

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
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