Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Better Off
I don't have anything.
And I know how funny,
what a gas that is to say,
given the opulence by which I live.
I was married once,
married twice,
married yet again,
to a woman who despised me,
to Church and career.
And no I can't say
I'm better off for any of it.
Wherever I go from here,
wherever I go
I can be assured
like I was before
of people judging
judging
judging,
and I can be sure
my cyn(icism) will get in the way.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Vivovon
Mon, 2016-08-29 17:01
Trapped?
These are the interesting words flowing freely. Do I understand right? Is this an expression of being trapped?
xxxxx
Esker
Mon, 2016-08-29 17:25
I had sarcastic come backs
my short quips of what I thought
dark humor...but they
were ill covered raw hot spots
of character...
an old wound
metaphor would be a sore foot
and going too a dance
And not being a good dancer
Its ..(that sore spot) will be
prodded or what I like
in technical forensic term
Prompted to response..
I viewed others like this
sharp barbs pointing in at
me....But Am I a soft rose
and if so....why then the
rose's thorns...and If
I am driven too live..marry
co habitate with anyone
then Why do I despise
their thorns despite the
beauty of their Rose?
I saw people change
sarcasm was my chains
like the spirit of christmas
and I really am trying to
just stuff a silence when
I want too make a comment
because I am witty...
often right....but U know
being right or witty
sometimes means it
doesnt have too be
right......
I have been more giving
and listening lately
personally I feel like
its defeated..but
in reality maybe its
just me hunkered
down...so others
can come and sit
and reflect and
share...because
more are sharing
with me...and Im
finding I do have
a capacity for
sharing..listening
why people are
drawn too us
in the first place
..
thorns are not
personal
they are the protection
from the greater
lions and jackals
out there
I am aware of the
thorns
a little pain
too admire the
Roses
and cynicism
with a flip of humor
is like bitter
with sweet
I am also this
voice in this
poetry..
thank U!