Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Beauty's Archenemy

On my face an undulation
the start of ruination
beauty's arch enemy
should I resort to surgery?
Its the vain person's nemesis
causes them a lot of stress
I'm not going to worry
get myself in a flurry
going to think of each new wrinkle
as another memory I sprinkle
on my face, another trace
of each day I'm lucky to embrace

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

Don't worry about wrinkles, they are just the maps of our lives' joys and sorrows. I wonder why you didn't break this into 4 line stanzas?.Have a good Thanksgiving...............stan

Thanks Stan I thought it was too short to break it up have a gr8 thanksgiving cheers Sueb

author comment

On my face an undulation,

the start of ruination,

beautys archenemy;


should I resort to surgery?

Its the vains person's nemesis,

causes them a lot of stress;


I'm not going to worry,

get myself in a flurry,

going to think of each new wrinkle

as another memory, I sprinkle on my face,
another trace of each day
I'm lucky to embrace.

**

Vain in singular:"Its the vains person's nemesis"

beauty's arch enemy:"beautys archenemy"

I liked the theme and its neatness, being short and to the point,
just a few things I changed, like placing of lines and commas,
for it to read more clearly i think. It doesn't need to be
"cleverly" spaced out to be a good poem.

Love Ann of Norway

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

thanks so much and I will make those changes if I can figure out how lol x

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.