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AUGUST 21

Just sitting here this afternoon
on my driveway made of stone
waiting....it will be here soon.
I've even turned off my cell phone.

There are more clouds than clear skies,
hopefully not enough to block the view.
I've glasses to protect my eyes.
The sun has finally broken through.

A small bite taken out of it
It almost looks like a play toy
I have one beer and open it
The clouds almost make sun look coy.

Then another cloud covers the sun.
So I look down thus relieving neck.
The birds are singing having fun.
I hear a near woodpecker peck.

Then the cumulus begins to thin
so glasses and head turn up once more.
The sun now looks like a sidewise grin
much less of it than there was before.

Then here comes another cloud
so down comes my bobble head.
The birds seem to sing a bit loud
here around the old homestead.

The light seems almost evening time
and the insects are sing loudly too.
Sweat dries leaving its salty rime.
Cloud thins, time again to view.

Now the sun looks like a crescent moon
as the real moon slowly closes the door.
Totality will be here soon.
I've seen a full eclipse just once before.

A first sip from the chilling beer
and head down to rest my neck.
I see a rabbit hopping near
the corner of the rear deck.

Another cloud, another pause
and the clouds all look so strange
I figure out that it's because
of the light being rearranged.

The clouds to the east are lit
those to the west are getting dark...
a reverse sunset! that's it.
Way off I hear a single bark.

Will this one cloud ever leave?
As evening darkness dims all around
I wipe now cool face with my sleeve.
and kick a pebble on the ground.

But Wait! the cloud has opened up!
Clear view once again is mine
(neck stiffens from looking up)
A sip of beer and all is fine.

Then there it is,a coal black sun.
Corona like a a blazing ring.
Sky dark as if the day is done.
A pause overtakes everything.

And through clouds a single star appears
in the middle of the afternoon
as if time has slipped its gears.
this moment will be gone soon.

Temperature drops at least ten degrees
and I notice there is not a sound
wind is still, no stirring leaves
all is waiting all around.

Back in the sky the sun seems set
in the east instead of west
the time of revelation not quite yet
as moon appears to cease its quest.

Then the diamond flares on the ring's top
spearing light back to the sky
and the time of magic's made its stop
Once more time begins to fly.

The August coolness quickly leaves
the insects cease serenade's pause
breeze again touches the trees
even a lonely crow caws.

We finally glance one to the other
and smile at the rare sight we've seen
then lean in and kiss one another
hoping that we are not seen

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Every once in a great while have you notice some subjects seem to demand the rawness of an unedited post? this is one of those times
Editing stage: 

Comments

one of the longest poems that I have ever seen from you! I agree that, there are times when a poem demands an unedited post. It seems to make the experience that much more real and not contrived.
I also like the almost shy way you introduce the wife into the poem and wonder if you have a nosy neighbor peeking over your fence to see you kissing her or are you kissing the crow? Lol. ~ Gee.

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Yeah, it's a bit long but to even partly describe what I saw requires the length. And no, I wasn't kissing a crow lol.....stan

author comment

The poem is feels a bit prosaic to me in what is a very passionate event. So many people described it as the most amazing moments of their lives. I do not feel in it a sense of awe. I see you as relaxed with a beer, having been there done that, describing the event dispassionately despite a few exclamation points. At the end you kiss your wife hoping that nobody see that (?)
I do not think poetry has to be always be dealing with passion, suffering, pain or the like, and indeed enjoy good irony, humor as well. But with such unique events which should arouse the spirit, this particular work seems blandly journalistic. And you certainly have offered many deeply felt and passionate works in the past. .

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

But I Have been there done that. Back in the late seventies I saw a total eclipse. And i figured enough poems would be written about the awe and all a seeing it and the feelings it inspired. So I went in another direction and decided to give a play by play and also a description of its effect on wild life. And the kissing my wife was to note that i wasn't alone. But I Do appreciate your feedback and may later write a touchy feely poem about this event.........stan

author comment

So did I
on the TV
Only fortunate guys can see
twice in their lives
every 38 years .
If you have lived over sixty.may be 70
Stan I could see you drink beer
and
so many wearing glasses
saw Susan thanking you for the much awaited ''diamondish'' ring
you promised and showed it in space only
(did you wear one again for her)
after the kiss and full two bottles of beer

nice long one
I seldom read beyond 16 lines
But Stan yours was an exception
I couldn't afford to shun!

good celebration
the sun and moon had fun!
not not a pun!

So you focused on the first beer I've had in over 6 months! lmao. Even if I Did drink on a regular basis I couldn't do so for past year due to being on pain pills which I skipped on the eclipse day.I don't think anybody could buy a diamond ring which could compete with the one at the totality's end but Susan still seems content with the one I gave her 45 years ago. And knowing your dislike of longish poetry I'm very pleased this one held your attention. As always, thanks for the visit......stan

author comment

Stan you know me well by now

many dawns have since lapsed
and I am so happy
your wife savours the diamond ring
45 years since
now it must be worth a trillion

I gave mine one 51 years ago
but
kept upgrading it
she is now happy
being with a
blind deaf and throatless
not heartless!
guy like me
coz I keep writing poetry
she doesn't read
as
I keep my self busy
till the last meal
so be it
Regards to Ma'am Susan
for being so lucky
to have found decent hubby
in yea

I take medicines and wines and drinks
also beers once in a way
it helps me keep all docs away
who want to experiment upon me
But I shun them with glee

My best friends are docs mainly
by now all know me
I will treat myself and say doc so and so so helped me
to a while longer than due stay
when will I go away
who can that ever say

But I have been on my road
to NOWHERE
since now nearing eight decades
going strong till today

tomorrow look up will I be here
I may
may not may
have your guess any way

self-centred me
as says jess
so now I don't post poetry
except stan
for friends like thee
do read with glee
though this is lengthy

lives long enough they become acquainted with a lot of doctors I reckon. But better to know a herd of doctors than to have them cut you out of the herd and send you out to pasture. So hang in there. With luck we can continue aggravating each other for a good while yet.............And I guess I'll just call your better half "Saint" for having put up with you so long lmao

author comment

YES..excellent she is

more than a saint
to live with a spokeless bloke like me

thanks Stan for the quickest reply at hand
I have modified this version and posted it as an exception

Thanks
You are about
Take care of knees
walk slowly
but massage some almond oil
ask your doc ere..
have a good poetic share
from psuedo doc
call me
Docrare
rare....
just with me bear!

If any person

lives long enough they become acquainted with a lot of doctors I reckon. But better to know a herd of doctors than to have them cut you out of the herd and send you out to pasture. So hang in there. With luck we can continue aggravating each other for a good while yet.............And I guess I'll just call your better half "Saint" for having put up with you so long lmao

HOW SO VERY TRUE
STAN are you

This is amazingly one of the longest poems I've seen. It really catches the heart and mind with its naturalistic scenery and vast crystallised imagery. It introduces an interesting genre of literature which is drama and makes the last line look like a live performance. I really enjoyed the rhymes, gives it a touch of music and lime.....great work....unedited works can be the best at times

Yes, there Are a few rare occasions when the first write is the best. I'm glad you came by and even happier you enjoyed this longish scribble.......stan

author comment
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