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Any house on any hill.

Houses bear with a certain solitude-
Windows stare with eyeless black
Boards are washed, a timeless servitude
They house the dead, but do they know
The living looking back?

Pale in the vale of sun-stripped stalks,
Out in the windless woods walked
Those penniless pitiful few-
Who eked out a life here
For a year or two

And now, in the scraping interlude
Between silent cars and wind gusts through
Sits I, mock monarch to survey,
The kingdom of rooks and slow decay

Not to say, not at all,
That all this solitude strange enthralls
Should it ever be anything more
Than still pause in a life that adores
All that cluttering ring

That the city will bring,
When I come to my senses-
Release the meadow from its strings
Pluck the power line that has a moon poised

And reddened sun, in repose-
Petulant man then, I suppose,
I shall get in my car, once more,
flooding and flowing in the streets,
And their knowing grin.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I have a shed in the country where I live. I have another life in the city, which I am trying to counterpose in this.Nothing too much more than an abstract observation of my country abode, squalid yet beautiful as it is - and the city.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Wonderful choice of words.
You say its "free verse" but thats not quite true, it hangs together too well to be free verse.
Poe-ish in nature,

I'm a fan !!

Obi.

PS. lets be having a look at this "shed",,, because I want one.

I was an absentee.. but a fan of yours too. Will try to read more. Thanks for your kind words.

Cheers,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

It's good that you pinned in those last few lines. After reading them the abstract made a lot of sense and a good read.

Regards

raj (sublime_ocean)

that Raj, I was concerned about the ending. Not done yet, of course.

Cheers,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

You know I was lucky and sent a week there when one of my son's was talking junior year in Brisbane.
Hobart I assume is the town - a small city but very alive. I remember the roads on your island, narrow and excellently paved in the gorgeous landscape. Last week's travel section in the Washington Post was all about your home...here come the yankees! (I think you have a few years before Taz becomes the new Bora Bora...but in our lifetime.)
So I like your poem, can imagine the great "shack" you found, and basically envy you.
I like the words, images, and narrative and how you built the poem
Slight issue with last stanza. I would change a little so it fit in the same form as the rest of the poem, without "Grin" being stuck by itself. just a thought...

And reddened sun, in repose-
Petulant man then, I suppose,
I shall get in my car, once more,
coming and going to streets
And their knowing grin.

'''

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

At the bottom of the big island. Shhhhh..don't tell too may people about us!

I like your suggestions..I will have another look.

Cheers.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

Wonderfuly dark words
from the kingdom of rooks
and grinning streets.

Love your poem's heavy flow.
Thank you for sharing it.

Your inner rhyms
sometimes overwhelm the rhythm.

I want to visit the city
you composed
It must feel like steam punk.

IRiz

It is a kind of "lost in the 50's" colonial outpost..but in the most wonderful creative way. And, we have some of the most progressive artists here. MONA - look that one up! You should come and visit..contribute to our little artistic economy. Glad you enjoyed..:)

Cheers,

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

Thank you, I will.

IRiz

If you need a tour guide, you know where to find me!

Cheers.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment

Yes I would love to have a tour!!!

IRiz

This pretty much answers the question of whether a house is a home if it's empty....even for a short time. Hmmm.... Sits I....shouldn't this be sit I?......stan

Sits I.. colloquialism, it's how they said it down here/say it down here, and the cockney convicts that i refer ( obliquely) to.

Cheers,

Thanks for reading.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

author comment
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