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Anti-Pirates

In a world
That seemed
To show no mercy

I folded in upon myself
Like a sink hole
Or a slow motion
Car wreck

I chose my own
Pitiable company
Nursed my unhealing wounds

But self-understanding
Carried its own
Shards of contempt

With my habits of mind
The ways I spent
My exhaustible time

I couldn’t help
But realize
That more mercy was necessary

And so
Like the bud
Bursting out of the flower
The branches leaning toward the light

I sought outward again

Risking the same
Blizzard of betrayal
The same jungle of judgment

But hoping beyond hope
That god would become a man

And hold my hair
While I puked

Take my bitter heart
In his or her hand
And breathe sweetness upon it

Be the paramedic
The refurbisher of my soul

The saying goes
No man is an island

And I learned
Not everyone we meet
Is a shark
Circling
When we decide to be one

But some are like
Anti-pirates
Giving instead of taking

Our most precious treasure

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

important thought to hold. Man is a social creature; which is sometimes a boon and other times a curse. I like the simile of [they] being sharks, when we decide to become one too. I guess, that maybe because we are topside swimmers, we tend not to be aware of the depths below us and forget that there ARE sharks there. Which comes to the point of; maybe we won't get eaten if we are sharks too?
I like the other side of that coin, where you point out that there are just as many sharks that help others. Yes, they are the ones that match the ferocity of the sharks that want to eat you! All around, a good work. Nice job!
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I had a bit of a different take on this than Geezer .
"when we decide to be one", I took it as referring to choosing to become an island, as in the "no man is an Island "verse, not to the sharks.
I think that reference, if correct, could be a little clearer
if incorrect, I stand corrected!

strong images, and theme, and story line

Al

Yeah Al has it right. Thank you both for your read and comments!

author comment

Awaking this morning to see 4 poems in a row by you I think it’s fair, as all of us could do the same, to comment on one and spread the time out into the site with others.
The title brought me into this interesting poem. As I do often notice with your work we don’t need the first stanza.just start with the imagery rather than a fact or statement. I folded in within myself is much more interesting in announcing its a cruel world. I liked it all it puked seemed out of place. I like the idea of imagining god would just appear as a fellow human. I would avoid at all cost to use cliche idioms like no man is an island. I really like the title and would continue the theme of that
You are beating yourself up here a bit but there is resolve at the end and I think the poem has a lot going for it.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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