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anniversaries
it's coming near the time we
began
this time last year,
everything was shiny and
new
this time last year,
there was a me & you
this time last year,
i was open to everything and
more
maybe i shouldn't have been
wearing my heart
on my
sleeve
opened me up to your special
brand of
pain
so here's to my naivety,
my
desperation
they're one in the same
-anniversaries
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2019-06-23 17:21
I like it...
I like the rational thought about how you fell prey to the [I presume], now ex-.
I also like the brevity and clear lines. The form leaves you hanging a little bit, when you use punctuation. It got better when you stopped using the commas and periods. Welcome to Neo. I hope to see more of your work and be sure to join the workshops and enter the monthly contest. ~ Geezer.
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