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Animal Lust
18.
***
Dogs are better than people.
Dogs don’t tell lies, don’t
get pissed if you forget a birthday
or if you come home late
that Tuesday evening with lipstick
on my collar, and she starts
screaming about divorce.
Dogs aren’t so psychologically damaged
they see women only as objects, viewed
through the lens of will she fuck me
and that forms a judgment of her worth.
The car in the parking lot at work
is a substitute bed if the answer is yes,
and you make up a story
about having to work late and getting
robbed by a bandit on the way home,
who searched you for your billfold,
which you cleverly hid in the car,
and that’s why your clothes are disheveled---
and, of course, that lame excuse doesn’t work.
But you really don’t care because once again
you felt the approval of a woman.
And your dog won’t file.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
6 days 23 hours ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's central move—setting a dog's simplicity against the tangled dishonesty of the speaker—gives it a clear spine, and the opening line commits to that comparison plainly enough to invite the reader in. The strongest passage is the invented alibi about the bandit who "searched you for your billfold, / which you cleverly hid in the car." That fabrication is specific, absurd, and self-incriminating all at once, and it does more characterizing work than any direct statement could. The word "cleverly" is especially well-chosen, since it lets the speaker's self-regard convict him without the poem having to editorialize.
The poem is at its best when it dramatizes rather than diagnoses. The lines about being "psychologically damaged" enough to see "women only as objects, viewed / through the lens of will she fuck me / and that forms a judgment of her worth" state the theme outright, and in doing so they flatten it. The bandit story shows this worldview in action; the diagnosis merely labels it. Cutting or compressing that abstract passage would let the concrete details carry the indictment, which they already do more effectively.
There is also a slippage in point of view worth attending to. The poem opens in third person about dogs, shifts to first person with "lipstick / on my collar," then moves into second person with "you make up a story" and "your dog won't file." That drift may be intentional—the "you" can read as the speaker distancing himself from his own behavior—but as it stands the transitions feel unmarked rather than deliberate. Choosing where the pronoun shift happens, and making that pivot a visible turn, would convert an apparent inconsistency into a controlled effect.
The closing line, "And your dog won't file," lands well because it returns to the opening premise and delivers the whole marital collapse in a single legal verb. The ending earns its irony. The setup around it could be tightened so that final beat arrives with more force, particularly by trimming the explanatory middle so the poem trusts its images to say what it currently says twice.
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