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Anamnesis
In the score of my life,
at that time where it was scripted
that I would meet you,
was also authored
the beginning of our goodbye.
But, before that farewell reached its finale,
your cavatina was written.
And that melody lingers forevermore
in the song of my soul.
.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
Western Australia
Favorite Poets
Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story
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Comments
brittle light
Fri, 2016-05-20 14:51
but also scripted,
but also scripted,
before that farewell reached its finale,
all our stories
and your cavatina too...or something like that
just my suggestion. The first and second verse of the second stanza seemed to be struggling a bit.
otherwise, a good plotting of the thematic idea
just me,
Al
judyanne
Sat, 2016-05-21 01:32
yes - thanks Al
The second stanza bothers me too
thanks for the suggestion... I'll think it over...
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentjudyanne
Sat, 2016-05-21 03:03
I've taken a leaf
out of my own book lol
- what to leave and what should leave....
What do you think now?
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentbrittle light
Sat, 2016-05-21 20:14
works for me
works for me
could 'cavatina' prosper from an adjective...i.e. lovely, or heartfelt, or pleading etc.
you know best the sentiment implied... you fill in the blank, I think it would help the reader understand the feeling of the melody you are carrying
Al
judyanne
Sun, 2016-05-22 06:47
hi Al
Thanks for the suggestion
not sure that cavatina needs an adjective.... his solo in the middle of my symphony... it wouldn't be one emotion per se....
But I will take it on board and think about it...
maybe the descriptive needn't necessarily be an emotion.....
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentraj
Fri, 2016-05-20 15:08
Hi Judyanne
I must concede that I had not come across the word "cavatina" whioch made me look for it and know that it means a simple song...so after reading again this certainly runs like a simple heartfelt song with a sentimental touch..
Much love n hugs..
raj (sublime_ocean)
judyanne
Sat, 2016-05-21 01:37
cavatina
A musical term
More than just a song, it is a short and simple melody performed by a soloist that is part of a larger piece.
Thanks for the visit and comment Raj
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentmand
Sat, 2016-05-21 04:37
Hi Judyanne
Such an incredibly emotional poem - your use of cavatina is particularly poignant and heart warming.
Sigh: So well written
Love Mand xxx
judyanne
Sat, 2016-05-21 05:16
hello Mand
Lovely to see you *big smiley face*
Thanks for the kind comment
glad you found it emotional
I've had a bit of trouble with this one ....
I've even changed it yet again....
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
author commentmand
Sat, 2016-05-21 05:23
Hi Judy
Not any more I hope - it's perfect as it is! :) Thanks for the big smiley face. Hehe
lovedly
Sun, 2016-05-22 02:49
you are a poet
and
also a sculptor
let me look up cavatina
new words 7 I learned
in 15 minutes
judyanne
Sun, 2016-05-22 06:47
lovedly
Thank you
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
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