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ALL FRONTS PASS

Not all storms are caused by weather;
everybody knows that's true.
Some are caused depending on whether
some errant words are misconstrued.
Others come from some dark brood.

For well over one long week
I have been plagued by a dark cloud
through which sun rays dare not peek.
My thoughts are darkened by its shroud
and all bright thoughts are disallowed.

The storm front raged within my brain
as I huddled in the dark
trying to escape its pain.
All colors were washed out and stark.
Naught but sad songs did I hark.

At last came a brighter morning
when some sun at last broke through
doing so with little warning
as sunshine bid the clouds adieu.
The worst of mourning is finally through.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I am slowly coming back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

i love the language in here its truly wonderful, its been a dark moment for me too, so sharing is halving. your title is ever hopeful.

Thank you...Teddy

Even knowing it was coming didn't help much. But I'm steadily resigning myself to not seeing him for a while. Perhaps another few weeks and my muse will return.....thanks for dropping by....stan

author comment

what i believe is that you will really be fine, you have all these gorgeous memories, no one can take away, losing your best friend hurts mine was 34 and it was 2016 i still feel so so angry, its a different thing because my friend and I didnt have the time, but i loved her with all my heart. nothing will ever be the same but we have to learn to except it, and my comfort for you is susan. she is your rock, without saying. My deep love to you both. just to say that you have written this with heart and soul, something to feel proud of.

Thank you...Teddy

Is the rock upon which my life breaks

author comment

Hi, Scribbler,
I'm glad the darkness is slowly passing, as your reflective poem suggests.
Peace,
L

Lavender.....now that can't be your real name can it? This site is the only place where I go by scribbler. When I was signing up here about 10 years ago I was new to writing and assumed Everybody had to have a pen name. My real name is Stan Holliday. Back to subject. Yes I'm Slowly getting back to as near normal as I get lol

author comment

Much peace to you from your poetry friend,
Diane

thank you

author comment

Stanley Holliday PLEASE, theres just an edge to ley? LOL Goodnight gorgeous friends

Thank you...Teddy

Well , let's break my first name down. Stan ley....Stan is derived from a word which means stone. ley is an actual old time word which means field. So I am a stone field. Or a hard headed guy who just lays around lol

author comment

and i'm from the bright meadow, goodnight dear one.

Thank you...Teddy

night

author comment

for your loss Stan. But glad that you are finally getting out from under that dark cloud. It will never be the same, but it will get better. We can always console ourselves that we have great memories. That counts for a good deal. ~ Gee.
.

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

we don't have much choice but to just suck it up and carry on. Thanks for dropping by

author comment

I could not get the poem as the comments suggest. In the last line you introduce "mourning", but i don't feel the presence of a person in the poem causing this "storm" in your heart. Is it political, a so much today is political or some dark brood? What was the cause of this madness that raged on your brain? I can't sense the death of a person and the weather. An epitaph, a change of title, a dedication would be all we need...

>>

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I thought you assumed you knew everything about me. Let's see, you think I'm a racist backward redneck who wants nothing more than a civil war to establish the days of the old south? But you are correct in your statement that you don't know me lol. I would have thought that "mourning" would explain the reason for the darkness. Isn't mourning usually associated with the death of somebody? I know it Can be connected with the loss of anything held dear but that's a secondary meaning and Occum's razor suggests when given a choice the simplest of the choices is usually the correct one. BUT I do appreciate this heads up that I might need to include a stronger hint that This mourning is connected to a person. It will likely be a while before I do much editing on this poem. Having a hard enough time dealing with this subject as is and thinking about it too much is something I'd prefer not doing right now. At least thinking about the dark part of loss.

author comment

Is a very modern idea. In the past we knew what the poem was about, or in the case of an elegy, that it is a person. A simple epigraph will do “ to whoever”
We can mourn a person, a bird, or the death of decency in nation of sheep, the 150,000 dead of Covid, the 40 million orphan refugee children ...there’s a lot to mourn about.
I always assume there are not a school of literary scholars doing research on my life to explain a poem like I’m Yeats. So I try to invite the reader in to my poem to share what I mean to share, not whatever works for the reader. I think just a few things must be clear in poem ,which has to be about something, unlike abstract painting or music. So my philosophy of poetry may differ from yours, like our politics.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I'm sure you are aware that I'm almost continually editing my stuff. I usually do so after some time has passed as seeing a poem with "new" eyes reveals what was not obvious when I wrote it. So please be assured that in editing this poem I'll keep in mind trying to find a good way to clarify who is being mourned. And yeah we differ politically but I appreciate that we do so but still manage to remain civil

author comment

In the last stanza, I find it so relatable when you write that the sun broke through with little warning. It reminds me of how often while inside the storm we cannot see outside of it, even if we are on the cusp of clear skies
Also enjoyed the homophone rhymes in the beginning:)

raffy

Good to see you again. Those homophone rhymes are there because I had a hard time finding a rhyme which would not seem forced or that would not wreck the message lol.So put it down to desperation not talent.......stan

author comment

perhaps it is an unpopular opinion, but I am actually a fan of homophone rhyming!
your rhyme does not read as forced, perhaps because—while occupying the end of a line—lines 3 and 4 are split in the middle of a phrase; and I actually think the opening stanza is benefited by it:)

my favorite example of especially well-executed homophone rhyming is in this excerpt from Watsky's "Pink Lemonade"
"
Can't bear a bear market with a bare body
Rich heir—hot air choking errbody
They swore you'd soar, check your sore body
See the sweat pour from each pore of your poor body
"

raffy

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