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Advice to his child
It is not about money
or the beauty of the cloth,
it is not the way others point
either to praise, or to shame,
it is not what all the world
in all its wonder can convey.
It’s more that deep deep center
which collects the world to you.
It’s less those things coming in,
as light moving out from you.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Eumolpus
Wed, 2019-07-17 21:45
a very tender poem
And I think a child is lucky to have a dad that can write with such direct touch. I took the liberty of some suggestions: Drop the first line, change "events" to "things" (money is not an event) and took out a "the"
It is not about money
or the beauty of the cloth,
it is not the way others point
either to praise, or to shame,
it is not what all the world
in all its wonder can convey.
It’s more that deep deep center
which collects the world to you.
It’s less those things coming in,
as light moving out from you.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
tyro
Sun, 2019-07-21 07:52
thank you, I do agree with
thank you, I do agree with your changes.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
author commentPatricia
Sun, 2019-07-21 17:01
Lucky Child
That was a beautiful piece of advice. I hope your child takes it to heart as I have. Thanks for a great poem.
B9Pat