Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

ABV

Only one drink is needed
to make you more prone to
insomnia nights
daytime television
asking your friend for the car keys so you can drive to rural
Montana
going to the casino high on ephedrine,
and betting it all on black

To getting married young
shotgun weddings
and beating your wife
looking for half-gone nostalgia
in the walls of synthetic paradise (MOA).

To disgruntled drivers huffing in designated lanes
radio’s switched on and blaring
but still, it seems
you can barely keep out the world
slouched over a park bench
in wait for someone new
to pine for

This poem was meant to be short but I felt
self-conscious.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hey, I've missed your last few poems, I can't keep up with everything posted on the Stream, this site is getting pretty big. How about sending me a private message when you post so I don't miss it, ok? Your poems are always worth catching.

Love the ending, très post-moderne. Don't get the acronyms. ABV? Is MOA a drug? Any reference to Montana always makes me think of dental floss tycoons. Dig it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

It always puzzled me why this community wasn't much bigger. Although the smallness of the community did make it feel kind-of quaint. Thanks for the feedback. Ever since I read more Foster-Wallace I've noticed acronyms creeping in everywhere and they don't often work but I like the way they look which often causes me to leave them in when I shouldn't. ABV stands for Alcohol blood volume and MOA was for Mall of America. Don't know why I situated there. Probably grew up watching too many trailblazer type American movies...

All the best,

Nicholas.

author comment

It always puzzled me why this community wasn't much bigger. Although the smallness of the community did make it feel kind-of quaint. Thanks for the feedback. Ever since I read more Foster-Wallace I've noticed acronyms creeping in everywhere and they don't often work but I like the way they look which often causes me to leave them in when I shouldn't. ABV stands for Alcohol blood volume and MOA was for Mall of America. Don't know why I situated there. Probably grew up watching too many trailblazer type American movies...

All the best,

Nicholas.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.