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3.2.1

how is it that my life has come to this.
I taste the nickel plated iron gripped tightly in my fist.
my irritated eyes drain the sorrows from inside.
I've ran so far and now there's nowhere left to hide.
I fool myself by saying it will all be just fine.
a couple more painkillers down to help me ese my mind.
one bullet in a chamber made for six.
I spun it quick, flipped my wrist and made the hamer click.
I say a prayer and believe he will understand.
if I decide to take my life its all just part of the plan.
go on and judge me just the same as all the rest.
feed me the same lies about how you know best.
you know nothing of the pain I feel.
the life I live is more then you could deal.
every breath i take is full of anxiety and pain.
more then enough to drive the purest man insane.
we all have our own demons deep down within.
each one of us bathing in a bloody tub of sin.
all of us are living on time that is borrowed.
it's only up to me to see if I return the gift tomorrow.
this is clearly just a statement in witch i choose to make.
don't dwell on the outcome because I control my fate.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Don't have the best spelling or gramer just like to wright.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Apart from the few tiny spelling mistakes, this write is very deep and if fiction a damn powerful write about feelings.
If not fiction then a very powerful cry, that I hope someone close to you is hearing.
I cannot say much about the content as it is a road I seldom walk but can walk with you if asked, Yours Ian.T
PS:- I notice you have only posted two poems since being with us, I hope to see more from your pen so that we can see how you are progressing in the poetic field and the field of life...

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Yes I have been out for a while I just found out I have PPMS witch will end my life sooner then most but I'm ok with it now. Yes I have poor spelling I'm actually a math person but I like to write things to help people not feel alone in a dark time of need.

Drew D. #MSSUCK

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