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RHYME PATTERNS WORKSHOP, page 2

Alright here is a second page since page 1 had become unwieldy.
Exercise # 3
Write 2 stanzas in ABBA pattern

Comments

two quatrains are what was called for. alan was just putting a name to the ABBA pattern..........I just realized this is the name of that group lol

author comment

There is rain today. A flood
is coming according to the news.
The sky shows patterned bruises,
and its blood is heavy, whipping the buds

that insist that their blooms be seen
to the ground. Some are swept to the chipmunk
holes. Other fly away. The blind drunk
fury ends. This rain - it does not clean.

Very good but The sky shows a patterned bruise would tighten up the rhyme without any change in message

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Good catch

I wring the water from some air
then inhale a drippy breath
in Forrest near as still as death
a place I go but seldom share

I take off my hat, look at the sun
then look for a deeper shade
far from any sunny glade
not far from where i had begun

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just change blessed to to blest. You are doing well

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been pronounced either way. Now this is off topic but one problem with metered rhyming poetry is the many different accents and dialects. Take a word like "again" Is it again or agin? Thus in my opinion all English poetry should be written in southern American....the only True English lmao

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up to you

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if the two stanzas were supposed to be related.

If I were a wizard, or magician
I would say forsooth!
Not quite sure in truth
If they are just a weird technician

Bless my soul, I guess
Is a saying way down South
Said from corner of the mouth
Often after a mess.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

it is easier to make them related than not.

author comment

Now it's time to put the thinking caps on. There are a Lot of other patterns which we haven't covered. Soooo.....I'd like you to each post a pattern we haven't covered yet. No need to post a stanza unless you want to just the pattern like AAAB

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Do not forsake the rhyme or reason
If you wish to make it true
I'll be there whatever you do
For there is no reason without you

It is the story-telling season
Planting seeds is what we do
From your tale, comes every clue
I'll make it all about you .
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

AABA BBCB etc.

ABCB.....OOPS. didn't realize this had already been used. So I'll move on to ABCC

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You have plenty of brain to handle this pattern . And stretching unused muscles is what workshops are all about

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Thank you so much, Teddy!
xxx
L

I was afraid opening another workshop page on stream would confuse people into thinking there are Two shops underway with the same title. Good to see you found your way back. Now.....the present exercise is to challenge each participant to think up a rhyme pattern not already covered. The ABCB pattern was just given as an example. And believe me there are Plenty not yet discussed

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Hello!

An abcb stanza from Dust Bowl:

Barren cradle in the nursery
Cold kettle on the stove
Withered stubble in field
Empty baskets in the grove

Hope this works!
L

Alan, you are too kind!
L

I have apparently not been clear on the present exercise. It is Not to post a stanza in the example I put forward. This exercise is to post a pattern not already used. There are Plenty not yet covered.So just play with different patterns until you find one not yet used then post That pattern

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Are we supposed to post the pattern only or a stanza in the pattern or both?

The reason for this will be made clear a little later on

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I haven't found the mind to think
about this rhyming workshop link.
I stare too long, until I blink
trying to master and stay in sync,
following the pattern, tossing each kink
that comes between my pad and ink.
I may just hurl it in the sink,
and there - will fix myself a drink!

(Hope this works! Actually, this has been a ton of fun.)
L

Show off lol

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I'm not following directions very well!

It is my fault in not being clear

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I will again change My pattern

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just the pattern for now but I'm not going to take away points for also putting an example lol

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You try to control every word and action
and all independent thoughts equal infractions.
You tell everybody, always, about the help that you bring
but that explanation smells like self-satisfaction.

You wonder why your children don't sing.
You wonder why your phone doesn't ring
and your team meets your ideas with pique
when you are the wind beneath everyone's wings.

times myself

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gonna post a pattern?

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ABCC

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scribbler ABCC
Geeze ABBB
Alan ABCB
Arrow AABA BBCB
Lavender AAAA

If I have made a mistake just let me know. If not just relax. Next assignments will take place tomorrow morning

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For the next exercise We will each write two stanzas using somebody else's pattern . so :
Geeze write in ABCB
Alan write in ABBB
Scribbler ABCB
Teddy ABCC
Arrow AAAA
Lavende BBCB

Everybody have fun

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What is BBCB - how do you start with "B"? Why is it not called AABA?
Thank you!
L

They are the same

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Thanks!
L

Thank you!
L

Post ted

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Once you get to rhyming it becomes hard Not to rhyme lol. stanza 2 has AABB if one pronounces again as if it's spelled agin

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Agane and within

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Well you went beyond the requirement in making the same rhymes in both stanzas but nothing wrong with that

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I chose the one you should use to keep the assignment random.So just do the one I chose for you

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Sometimes I see beyond my years
into a future yet to come
each vision is of different things
some leave me sad others just numb

Other times I see the past
and those who are no longer here
the memories of them seldom fail
to elicit at least one tear

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I'm sure that this could be the one
And I guess that it was not
This isn't what I thought it was
I think I'd rather be shot

Do not misunderstand this message here
I would really like it so
But if it's not, I'll bear it
Unless you'll have me go

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

I might have changed a few things but those changes would have only made this different, not better

author comment

Up to this point we have dealt with only 4 line stanzas. But we all know that not all stanzas are quatrains. So next assignment is to write 2 stanzas with 3 lines each . Your choice of pattern but please put the pattern at the top of your page.

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River

A river flows through my back yard,
a poetic dream for this simple bard,
transposing water and peaceful sound
into words and feelings starred.

And when the river flows fierce and hard,
travels south and leaves the shore scarred
with sticks and limbs pulled from the ground,
I shall watch it flow with reverent guard.

It is AABA then BBCB. Where the B in the first stanza becomes the primary rhyme in the second. I think the most famous example is Robert Frost's Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening:

"Whose woods these are I think I know. (A)
His house is in the village though; (A)
He will not see me stopping here (B)
To watch his woods fill up with snow. (A)

My little horse must think it queer. (B - rhymes with "here" in the first stanza)
To stop without a farmhouse near (B)
Between the woods and frozen lake (C - this would be the primary rhyme in the next stanza)
The darkest evening of the year. (B)

This is a kind of chain rhyme. I hope this helps.

Arrow

is one of my favorite poems by Frost. And you are correct about the pattern being an unusual one

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Thank you, Arrow!
L

As have others

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No one knows how it goes
I didn't
But then again, it shows

I think it's one of those
Maybe not
But it could be how it goes.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

If I were to have my way,
I would sing and dance all day,
but, I wouldn't get much done.

Wet laundry would not dry,
dirty dishes, pile high.
But, man, would I have fun!

I think but you did well

author comment

Thanks, Stan.

I think I got confused somewhere and combined two assignments.

I live on peanut butter,
sometimes walk the streets and mutter,
and my house is filled with clutter.

I hear the neighbors whisper - "Nutter!"
So, I keep my windows shuttered
and live in isolation that is utter.

When I Go

When I go to the other world
you will never ever know
nor will you ever say you heard
that it was now my time to go

As i fling my kisses so many misses
you wouldn't come ever to see
how many came to savor my kisses
'coz you have never been with me

Might try replacing appears with comes. But that has to do with meter not pattern and the pattern is right on.

author comment

you taught me
Villanelle
O how to spell it corectly

I used 123456 ...numbers to remember ...you passed me
.......................................
What I meant by spelling ''villanelle''

the computer always underlines it as red for me..never mind

Now tell me please if my lovonet kind sonetish verse
is tolerable to ye then stan will accept it

Where will I fit in abab cdcd ike a lovonet ele sonnet

When I Go

When I go to the other world
you will never ever know
nor will you ever say you heard
that it was now my time to go

As i fling my kisses so many misses
you wouldn't come ever to see
how many came to savor my kisses
'coz you have never been with me

grateful thanks.
Shall try to compete the sonnet may be

You should have joined this shop........

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For one who writes such lengthy stuff
three line can really be a pain
but it just might be enough

'cause though this might be a bit gruff
and the language pretty plain
I hope that it is up to snuff

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It is my hope that everybody now sees there are a nearly infinite rhyme schemes and that most can be used to make a poem memorable and still sound like almost natural language. But I think I'd be remiss in not going over at least one more scheme and we will begin that one tomorrow.

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let's hope you don't leave your corpse messing up the house lol. You got the pattern right.

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There is a seldom used but effective pattern left which I think bears some thought. In this pattern one writes a standard quatrain of rhyming poetry (usually in aabb pattern or abab pattern then you add a single line to it to make the stanza 5 lines long. Two catches....The line does Not rhyme with the rest of the stanza but it Does rhyme with the last line of the rest of the stanzas.Here is an example of this pattern :
I sit and shiver in the dark
awaiting this year's first new day
bathed in starlight cold and stark
as the old year quietly slips away
My thoughts wander as I wait

The silence gives me room to brood
about the last year's fails and foibles
and the wrinkles I've accrued
from one more year's toils and troubles
My breath fogs as I contemplate

in some ways this frees up the writer by allowing a non rhyming line to be placed at the end of a stanza but it also requires forethought in order to maintain the "chain" of rhyme in the final line.

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on this form...........

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I think this is one of my favorite forms! It feels liberating!
Thanks!
L

you have a month to go
I suggest you open
a page three
too much to scroll

It is time to complete the tax
forms for libraries, roads, and schools.
I wish the IRS would be more lax
about these complex rules
that seem to increase the barriers

for the lip-serviced middle class.
I have so many forms to prove I am not stealing
while through loopholes wealth does amass
for corporate and political double dealing
while citizens are prey for governmental harriers.

Telecommunication

During the hours of each day,
I speak with the Supreme Being
as in a phone call, and I'll say,
"Your insight would be so freeing
if you'd just tell me what comes next."

When there is silence, no reply,
I try to quiet my rambling mind.
I quit demanding to know the "why"
and leave the questions far behind -
then I break down and send a text.

I love this poem. Hilarious and profound. The best of both worlds.

Thank you. Profound is the word I would use for your poem - very good, indeed!
L

Everybody is getting ahead of me! Keep it up and you'll not even Need this old scribbler lol

author comment

I could show how this works in a longer poem :
DAWN OF THE NEW YEAR
Submitted by scribbler on Fri, 2015-01-09 15:37

I sit and shiver in the dark
awaiting this year's first new day
bathed in starlight cold and stark
as the old year quietly slips away
...My thoughts wander as I wait

The silence gives me room to brood
about the last year's fails and foibles
and the wrinkles I've accrued
from one more year's toils and troubles
...My breath fogs as I contemplate

A coyote mourns on a far ridge
as sickle moon sets in the west
in a sky as chill as in a fridge
in a world in which I'm a mere guest
...Perhaps the brush wolf calls his mate.

In the east the darkness fades.
The sky turns slowly black to gray.
Details appear in nearby glades;
the last of last year fades away.
...like all the others, lost to fate.

Time falls through another cataract
toward lands where aging memories dwell.
Yesterday can never be brought back
any more than the tide's swell
...it wears men like a kitchen grate.

I look down on my worn coat's sleeve
and see a spot from a sun spear
joining others weaving through limbs' sieve.
As the sun rises, shadows appear
...and day's hours accumulate

Which turns my thoughts to days to come
away from the past now set in stone
one more number added to the sum,
Thoughts best considered when alone.
...now making my brood hesitate.

Sunlight soon floods this lonely hill
bridging the night and day's dim schism
and as a new day often will
it shifts my mood to optimism
...and I 'm prepared to meet my coming fate.

author comment

Amazing poem! The mood and reflection goes perfectly with this poetry form. "Time falls through another cataract..." Beautiful!
L

pleased you enjoyed this

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For this section we will all post our work on stream as poetry of our own. Beside each of your titles put(rhyme patterns shop) next to title and punch the workshop button at the bottom.
So for the first let's all post a poem we wrote which has an AABB pattern. Be sure to comment on one another's poem and don't be afraid to be honest. I'll start out

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OK we're going to do the same as above but this time using the ABAB rhyme pattern.-------now an admission of guilt. I have used my own prewritten poetry a Lot in this shop. I did this due to lack of time to research others or to create new stuff. So from here on out if you wish to use prewritten also feel free to do so

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Anybody interested in doing a more complicated pattern?

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Yes

Certainly!

the fact that the poem rhymes but it requires a bit of forethought from the author

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run across the pattern I refer to a couple of times and only used it myself once or twice so I'm having trouble finding it. I might just have to create a new poem to illustrate it but it does such a splendid job of hiding rhyme that we aren't going to skip over it................Hmmmm....in the mean time let's write a poem with a ABABB pattern and post it on stream with the (rhyme patterns shop) next to title
A CHOICE OF TIME

As I strolled in forest deep today
the worn trail I'd chosen to follow
abruptly split itself three ways
just where the ridge dropped to a hollow.
I uncapped canteen and took a swallow.

The way which forked off to my right
led to a flood plain down below
where thickets kept the ground from sight
save where a stream near stopped its flow.
A beaver pond had made it so.

The center trail traced a hill side
old washes marked its middling slope
where strength and will would be well tried
and tall oaks fought off wild grapes' grope.
A bit easier trek with which to cope.

The last course veered off to the left
angling up a tame and gentle hill
of vines,ditches and logs 'twas bereft
and scattered sun fought winter's chill
whenever the wind became still.

I stood a while where trails divided
trying to fool myself I'm a young man
the choice about roughest trail decided
for age brought doubts that now I can
fight my way through that thick privet stand.

Leftward then I turned my gaze
to the easiest of varied trails
deciding to save it for future days
when legs will become even less hale
and even will power might fail.

Then I set off down the middle path
knowing, for this day, it is the best
and I could deal with the aftermath
as I shuffled my way toward the west
secure knowing I'd pass its test.

author comment

Hi, Stan,
I'll be out today (Saturday), but will return some time tomorrow.
Thanks!
L

I hope you enjoy your day off

author comment

I looked for hours to find a poem which illustrates the rare pattern I was looking for . The pattern is either AABB or ABAB with a non rhyming line inserted in the middle resulting in either AACBB or ABCAB with the C line carried to the next stanza to result in CDECD then EFGEF. Now this is a bit complex I know especially for those who seldom do rhyme so I shook my empty head and an example rattled out. this is coarse but it should illustrate the pattern well :

DEATH OF WINTER
Pollen colors all it falls upon
winter's end is just four days away
with faint early budding's subtle tints
greeting the rays of early dawn
and increase with every day.

Before long the air will bear faint hints
of blossoms bursting all around
when winter is finally left behind
and we're surprised at where it went
leaving naught but duff upon the ground.

So I'll treasure and keep in mind
these last days' scarce light frost
which never survive the sunrise
leaving heavy dew behind
before another season's lost.

Now I used the ABCAB pattern but AABCC works the same and just as well. So once you post the ABABB poem then catch your heads and other places and give this a shot. Post on stream with the usual (rhyme patterns shop) next to title
PS..The non-rhyming line can be inserted between any lines as long as the placement is the same in each stanza.....complicated enough?

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I think this is the pattern in the following: https://poetryarchive.org/poem/waste-land-part-iv-death-water/

It is the only example I could find.

Nope. Still not it. Now I KNOW I ran across this somewhere because I'm not smart enough to make it up myself......Hmmmm......I'm gonna keep looking....maybe it was Frost? Anyway if I can find it I'll post it here

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SHE'S YOUR WIFE NOW ALSO (Exercise in pattern aabb then cccc... NOT CONSIDERED YET BY MASTER STAN)

She's your wife she will be still also
from a distance how now to say so
she is Atlantic your are far Pacific
you are deep Antarctic she is Arctic

miles of difference age has brought
you've a wife who still love has sought
she so far by you have been brought
have you or she ever of this thought

Tell her how in balance life she can be bought
to win the battle of life yet wrought
She has your permission to be well sought
but is that why so far her you've brought

in the quagmire of desire to be wrought
life is for once never to be res-aught
tell her how in a maze she can still be caught
by those who have studied her easy thought

having come up this far and brought
give her a lesson or two sought
what to do but never be caught.
this brief is just for your thought

The types of rhyme patterns are almost infinite. To cover them all would take months and would likely bore people after a while. The purpose of this shop is to get people to think about how patterns can change the texture of a poem and encourage them to try new things. I guess you found out how hard it can be to maintain an extended rhyme without repeating yourself.Good of you to drop by

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not only the abab stuff

try and look deep within
WHY DIVORCES AND PRE-NUPTIALS
IS MY THEME
IT DOESN'T SEEM
TO apparently GLEAM
'tis a mad man's dream

We have all read a lot of poetry.so let's each one of us post our favorite rhyming poem by a famous author with the rhyme scheme at the bottom. Post it on stream with the author.

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Please note the break in pattern in my post which shows how breaking pattern Can be used to good effect

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Ok folks, we have now become familiar with and practices a lot of rhyme patterns. And everybody has done well with them. But knowing patterns is one thing and likely enough for a lot of poetry. But what can give more impact than using patterns is knowing how to break pattern for effect. This effect is most often accomplished by breaking pattern in the last stanza of a poem. Our last exercise will be to write a poem in any pattern you choose but to then break the pattern to good effect in the last stanza. I'll post one of my poems which does this here. But I will also post a new poem on stream just like ya'll shall. there is no hurry in this. i want the non participant site members to wish they had joined this shop because your poems are of excellent quality lol. You can use Frost's above posted poem as an example or even my prewritten which I'll post below. So get those pencils real sharp and let's make each other proud..........stan

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can one break pattern if there is no pattern to break?

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of my best stuff is done by accident

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Forgive the length but of the 6-7 examples I recovered this one breaks rhyme the best :
IN JANUARY
Submitted by scribbler on Tue, 2014-01-14 14:57
The new year is days now in the past
and rush of holidays is gone
while winter's heart approaches fast
with white frost greeting every dawn.

I snug my hat on old bare head,
hunch shoulders in my thick wool coat.
Instead of warm I'm far from bed
where breaths of chill air burn my throat.

That same breeze sighs through the hardwood
and hushes sounds among the pines.
I'll not walk as far as I once could
and keep alert for tripping vines.

With staff in hand I set my course
to follow a long gentle slope
which tapers off at a spring's source.
Old legs should handle that, I hope.

The puddles which are passed are froze.
Jack frost crunches underneath my feet,
but I'm warm in boots and layered clothes
and proceed with an uneven beat.

Each log or stump I come upon
gives an excuse to pause for rest .
Old days of steady treks are gone,
yet, I guess, I am still blessed.

For I recall too many people
who once used to walk with me.
They now rest shaded by some steeple
no more the wilderness to see.

Each break I take invites the chill
so I don't rest in one place for long.
These piney woods are vast and still,
a place I feel like I belong.

The spring I seek comes into sight.
as frost melt patters off the trees
from the sun's wan warming light
which fails to ease my aching knees.

With fading frost comes signs of life:
A gray squirrel scampers up a tree
perhaps in search of a new wife.
I step, he stops to bark at me.

But I pay him little heed
Instead I go sit on a boulder
where I rest old legs when they're in need
where newts dream while mosses molder.

So here I find myself again,
this time in the winter's deep
thinking of the times I've been
at this place when spring tree frogs peep.

Both my breath and heart slow down.
Fleet shadow passes over me
making me look up and frown,
a lone crow flying over silently.

My thoughts and mind review this scene
both seeing these woods through the years,
recalling them both gray and green.
Sometimes the view was blurred by tears.

But usually my green eyes were clear
and sometimes they were not alone.
I'd show this place to someone dear
while listening to the dry flies' drone.

Alas, like the year now newly gone
too many close companions left
seeking out their final dawn,
each one leaving me bereft.

Down wind a deer exhales a snort.
It cares not that the season's over.
Today's quarry is another sort
than one which relishes rich clover.

My prey is quiet with peace of mind.
My prey is long lost memories.
I stalk the past left far behind.
My prey will likely elude me.

While I sit on a log beside this spring
some tightness grows within my chest.
I think, now, this is a new thing,
perhaps to leave now would be best.

But I hear a turkey take to wing
and barred owl's voice though it's midday
while a far coyote starts to sing.
This day's unique now in its way.

My staff releases from numb hand.
I lie slowly down to take a rest
where somber gray sentinels stand
far below the ridge's crest.

So on my back I rest a while
watching clouds and crows and time drift by
wearing, unknown, a wistful smile.
This would be a perfect day to die.

But that will come another day.
I've things to loved ones yet to say.
So I rise on legs which barely sway
then turn around and walk away.

The pattern is ABAB until last stanza which breaks to AAAA

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poem

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feedback good or bad on how the shop was run. This will help me in future shops

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It is always a thin line deciding how much time to give each exercise. Too little and some people feel rushed. Too much and others get bored. But you managed to do well even with my whipping you to hurry up lol

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poet who didn't know it, malinger it rhyme every time?

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I sympathize with Teddy. I also felt a little pressured, having to create things from a vacuum. However, I found the pacing worked well in giving one the ability to practice and to come up with some half-formed ideas for later revision. I think one reason it can be hard to accept revision suggestions is that we have worked on the piece quite a bit beforehand. If we shoot them out there earlier, maybe critique seems less critical. I, too, got a lot from the workshop - thanks!

How many days do you think should be allowed per exercise?

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A very informative, challenging, and fun workshop! I feel like it sharpened my rhyming skills immensely. I will continue to use your knowledge. Thank you for sharing your intuition and wisdom!
Lavender

Well thank you (I'm afraid to say anything else less Teddy slap me lol) I am pleased you benefited from this shop and hope when I run some future shop you will join it as well

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A little too fast. I think you could have required a new assignment maybe every two-three days. But otherwise, a very good workshop and I am pleased to see that many of the participants were not rhymers at the beginning, but turned out some very good rhyme. ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

would have been good for me for a whole poem. Stanza exercises were good for a day. I also would like to add that I found this exercise, and really structured verse in general, very good for creativity. I find that the constraints of structure force more creativity out of me because you can't just write down the first things that come to your mind. Necessity is the mother of invention. I look forward to more workshops. Thanks again.

I should have realized when I moved from just one or 2 stanzas to full poems that more time would be needed. The teacher learns too lol

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I ain't THAT much older than you

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lol

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